Regardless of our ethnicity, fiscal condition, family status, or age - we have all been given 1440 minutes each day. If you, my friend, are like me – you have seen many who have mastered the art of “balance”. At one point, I considered myself to be among those Martha Stewart “wannabe” geniuses who successfully managed three children, a home, ministry/career, a social life, physical exercise, room mom duties, PTSA …all with a traveling husband. Regularly, my expertly managed weeks were topped off with fresh-baked goodies, seasonal decorations in and outside the house and weekly one on one breakfasts with my small children. Gone now are those days! The primary struggle of late is how to achieve a healthy balance…one that is honoring to my family, one that is honoring to God...oh yes, and one that does allow me to actually take care of “me”.
That last sentence may sound selfish – but I have given great thought to the speech given by flight attendants and have of course, counseled other girlfriends of mine, to ensure they are first taking care of themselves - so that they can properly care for their husband, children, and home. (Isn’t it funny how easily we forget to apply the advice we so freely give to others?)
So much has been created for us to enjoy, appreciate and reflect on – if we have etched out the freedom to do so by over-scheduling, double-booking, and people-pleasing…well, that’s not honoring to the One who created us…is it?
Tomorrow is a new day, a new week… a self-proclaimed new beginning to “Life management 101”…back to the basics. The flight attendant’s pre-departure speech is going to serve as a “basis” in this metaphor. "Any old flight attendant’s" words are in green – my Pilot’s words are in purple, and in my opinion, the preflight instructions sound something like the following:
Thank you for your attention while important safety information is reviewed.
Now that I have your attention…and you are feeling stressed out, depleted, over-worked, under-appreciated, constantly criticized, blamed and ridiculed - and heading for a collision…let ME remind you of some very basic principles (and by the way, at the end of yourself, is exactly where you needed to be right now.)
Federal law requires your compliance with all lighted signs, posted placards, and crew-member instructions.
I have a plan for you…one that promises a future and a hope. One that provides rest, refuge, joy and fulfillment that cannot be attained anywhere else on Earth – no matter how hard you try. BUT… when you deviate from this plan, when you do anything to extremes, when you work yourself too much – these things get in the way. My ways are best – and when you do your own thing, expect consequences. Pay attention to My WORD, to my promptings and listen to biblical counsel from those who love you. (Stop listening to the world…and to your disillusioned culture.)
To fasten your seatbelt, place the flat metal end into the buckle. To release, lift the faceplate of the buckle. Tighten by pulling on the strap. Your seatbelt should be fastened low and tight across your hips.
A lap belt? Really? I’ve got something better: The Whole Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18)
10Finally,(A) be strong in the Lord and in(B) the strength of his might. 11(C) Put on(D) the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against(E) the schemes of the devil. 12For(F) we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against(G) the rulers, against the authorities, against(H) the cosmic powers over(I) this present darkness, against(J) the spiritual forces of evil(K) in the heavenly places. 13Therefore(L) take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in(M) the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14Stand therefore,(N) having fastened on the belt of truth, and(O) having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15and,(P) as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16In all circumstances take up(Q) the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all(R) the flaming darts of(S) the evil one; 17and take(T) the helmet of salvation, and(U) the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18praying(V) at all times(W) in the Spirit,(X) with all prayer and supplication. To that end(Y) keep alert with all perseverance, making(Z) supplication for all the saints,
All flights are non-smoking. There is no smoking in the aircraft, including the lavatories. The lavatories are equipped with smoke detectors. Tampering with, disabling, or destroying a lavatory smoke detector is prohibited.
You’re not a smoker, but you do tend to have a few idols in your life ...this is an idol-free flight. Even when you self deprecate, when you underestimate your abilities, when you replay harsh, lifelong critiques from those that should have loved you better – you’re idolizing YOU. You are saying your weaknesses and your imperfections and even some of those ridiculous lies are far greater than ME. That’s the kind of idolatry I’m talking about. Remember, where you are weak – I am strong. You can do all things …when your strength is coming from the Ultimate Source. All other nonsense is strictly prohibited.
There are six exits on this aircraft... two doors at the front of the cabin, two window exits over the wings, and two doors at the rear of the aircraft. Again, there are two doors at the front of the cabin, two window exits over the wings, and two doors at the rear of the aircraft. Please take a moment now to locate the exit nearest you, keeping in mind that the closest useable exit may be behind you.
You’ve been given a free will. Let's face it, there are more than six ways in which you could exercise that will in any given situation. You could rely on self (where has that gotten you in the past?), you could blame others (you own your actions and decisions), you could self medicate (you’ve seen how that plays out in others…why would you want to go that route?), you could displace your emotions (you’ve certainly been the recipient of that one – not so good, eh?), you could “be a people pleaser” (what a waste of time and energy…You will ultimately suffer long term), You could give up and throw in the towel – (what if that’s not what I have in mind for you? You’ll honor me through faithful perseverance and obedience. You’ll be blessed.)
The cabin is pressurized for your comfort and safety. In the unlikely event of a cabin depressurization, oxygen masks will appear overhead. Reach up and pull the mask closest to you, fully extending the plastic tubing. Place the mask over your nose and mouth, and slip the elastic strap over your head. Tighten by pulling on the ends. The bag does not need to inflate for oxygen to be flowing. If you are seated next to a small child or someone needing assistance, secure your own mask first, then assist the child.
Okay, a common misconception among mortals- life really isn’t designed for your comfort and safety – although, too often you want to think that. When you hit turbulence, don’t be anxious, don’t be fearful. In all things, reach up…and pull toward me in prayer and supplication. Pray continually. You actually can do this anywhere – anytime. You don’t have to be in a special place, in a specific position – our conversation will flow freely regardless of your surroundings, and no tubing is necessary! Oh – and by the way, if you are responsible for taking care of a husband and/or a child(ren) – by all means, make sure you are communicating with me often. I will sustain you and I will give you what you need so that you can, in turn, give to others. You give too much, without coming first to the Well. How could you possibly expect to be all things to so many people – when you’re not first HEARING from me?
Your seat-bottom cushion serves as a flotation device. To use it, place your arms through the straps and hug the cushion to your chest.
AHHH… one of my favorites - the floatation device represents a respite of sorts. Let’s face it – if you’re floating aimlessly in the Pacific after your plane collided with the sea – some rest is in order. You feel that way now – there have been several air/sea collisions in your life and you keep flailing – STOP. Take deep breaths, be still. Don’t thrash around frantically – further exhausting yourself and making a spectacle of yourself in the rolling waves. Hold on to your floatation device,”ME”and allow your body to ride the current to safety – you’ll get there. Furthermore, you’ll encounter increasing trouble if you resist my ways and continue to “facilitate” your own rescue. Just hold on tight, listen for me – because I’m right there with you. I’ll not leave you. Calm down…it will be okay. Little child, how have you forgotten to rest? I made rest for you. You ignored the signs – you kept going, striving and attempting to prove something - and so I put you in the middle of a tumultuous sea, where you have no option other than to hold on, because you can’t see the shore – you know not what is lurking below your feet – and the waves seem ominous, but cling to Me. I brought you here for a reason. After you’re delivered safely to the shore, don’t forget this lesson. Make rest significant in the fabric of your life… stop doing so much. With excellence – complete the things I have assigned you, using the gifts that are uniquely yours.
Oh…and “Don’t make me tell you this one again… “
Well, in order for the captain to pull away from the gate area, it’s time to securely stow my luggage and shut off my my electronic devices…including cell phone, ipod, and laptop....(pun totally intended.) Toodles.
Speaking of luggage…I have another story, but after I reach the destination.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Terminal
It's as if I awoke as the car pulled into the parking spot just in time for my appointment. How could one drive twenty-five minutes from home and have zero recollection? Scary, but it happened. Further review of this incident occupied the time in the waiting room. It would be one thing if this was the "daily drive to the church office", but this was clearly an atypical route." Roads that I seldom drive on, in addition to a couple of MAJOR intersections along the path. Additionally, navigation across four busy lanes of rush hour traffic was necessary to make a critical left-hand turn. Yet - it was as if arrival at the destination occurred at the blink of an eye - literally, concerning and true.
This "wake-up" call occurred just a few weeks ago - but has served as a reminder that life is a vapor...and at the risk of sounding cliche', we should make the most of each day we have. There are no guarantees of a tomorrow, but so often we assume that we'll be around to what the American Medical Association determines as the "average life expectancy." In my case, that estimate is 80.7 years (less for black women, white men and fewer still are black men.) While much respect is warranted and their research is thorough and well-intended....the AMA is not the author of my life...nor anyone's.
My first encounter with the loss of a loved one was at the age of twenty - when my paternal grandfather died. It was devastating...two months later, my other grandfather died....less than two years later, my much loved paternal grandmother joined her husband in Heaven. Her loss stung badly - she comes to mind more often than one would expect two decades later. The first three losses I experienced in this lifetime were all grandparents. Not to sound harsh or insensitive, but there's something sort of "natural" about the order - albeit painful.
Death isn't always orderly. A quick review of the ten funerals attended in the last five or so years reveals the following:
While there are countless people with more wisdom, there are a few things I've gotten a grasp on. Since life is so short - we cannot afford to waste the days. In my humble opinion, we should aspire to...
Work at loving fully and completely, striving to deepen relationships with those closest to us, rather than defaulting to a position of complacency and passivity. At the same time, resisting the temptation to "people please" - as I've seen in my life and in the lives of many around me - it leads to compromising of values, integrity and ultimately results in manipulation, pain, unnecessary angst, and oddly - sometimes alienation.
Invest wisely, becoming excellent stewards of the resources and blessings entrusted to us - not just money, but children, our physical body, time, talents, etc. Unfortunately, I've slacked off on this one with regard to my physical body and personal time...but am actively addressing those issues and believe they are key to living each day to the fullest! (Tough to grasp: REST.)
Serve others - It's true that the best way you can feel better about your 'stuff' is to help someone else out with 'theirs'. We're called to serve 'the least of these' and that can take on many forms....for some it's just offering a listening ear, for others it's a contribution of "wisely stewarded money, time and or talents." The opportunities are all around us - we just have to have eyes wide open, and sensitive hearts.
Deal with the toxic people in your life.... God doesn't say we have to remain in unhealthy, evil, manipulative relationships - regardless of bloodline or connection. It finally became clear, "not everyone will like me....and that's OKAY!" Truth be told, I'm not a "hater" but there are a handful of people I'm not particularly drawn to. I'd still help them (and have) in a crisis and would never wish harm upon them. Will we be hanging out as BFFs? nope. Probably not.
Own, embrace and give freely, forgiveness (not the same as restoration...you cannot restore a relationship with an unwilling participant - but you can forgive them even if they choose bitterness, resentment, and hatred.) I've been slandered in print and verbally, threats have come my way. Sadly - I've learned there are people I trusted that weren't trustworthy, there are people God has placed in my life who are easily sold out and who will sacrifice for mere financial gain....and I mean "mere". Forgiveness has freed me to laugh at some of the childlike antics rather than to retaliate or combust. (By the way, unforgiving people seem to have a harshness about them that's quite unbecoming...it hardens them on the inside and out and ages them beyond their years. It's actually sad.)
Make it your goal to laugh more - I believe God takes delight in our laughter - and sometimes my focus is such that I fail to see the humor abounding in my daily life. (Working on it!) It feels great to laugh - and an aspect of our purpose is indeed to enjoy God's creation. Look around - there's plenty to enjoy, regardless of circumstances! Monty Watson, a former pastor and still a friend, shared that "laughing more" was his New Year's Resolution a few years ago and I have to say - it was inspiring. (So over the "lose weight/save money bit!")
While making the above points priorities, we should be growing in wisdom - but we must first actively pursue it. If you're not already regularly reading scripture, Proverbs is a great place to start - it's the book of Wisdom, containing 31 Chapters - so read one chapter a day for a month!
Last weekend, along with several MHS classmates, we said goodbye to a friend. It was a bittersweet memorial service - sad because, as a single mom, she left behind a young daughter; sweet, because we all left with assurance she is now cancer-free and in Heaven for eternity. The officiating pastor said something clever, "We are all terminally ill." The moment we are born, we are moving toward our final breath. I simply want to make the most of the time He's allowing me to be here. Do you? While the list is probably considerably longer, and would manifest differently in each of our lives - I'd love to hear my friends thoughts on how we can make the most of each day we have. I don't want to get before my maker and reflect on a life barely memorable because I was "asleep at the wheel". Life is too short - and I know so many people who would agree that if given the opportunity to do it over, they would have made some very intentional changes.
Every life tells a story...and only God knows how it will end. How will the current chapter read? (Because of our free will - we get to help with the illustrations.)
T.
{ Quotes }
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." (Abraham Lincoln)
"God will one day hold us accountable for all the things He created for us to enjoy, but we refused to do so." (Rabbanic saying)
"Never lose an opportunity for seeing anything that is beautiful; For beauty is God's handwriting--a wayside sacrament. Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every fair flower, And thank God for it as a cup of His blessing." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
This "wake-up" call occurred just a few weeks ago - but has served as a reminder that life is a vapor...and at the risk of sounding cliche', we should make the most of each day we have. There are no guarantees of a tomorrow, but so often we assume that we'll be around to what the American Medical Association determines as the "average life expectancy." In my case, that estimate is 80.7 years (less for black women, white men and fewer still are black men.) While much respect is warranted and their research is thorough and well-intended....the AMA is not the author of my life...nor anyone's.
My first encounter with the loss of a loved one was at the age of twenty - when my paternal grandfather died. It was devastating...two months later, my other grandfather died....less than two years later, my much loved paternal grandmother joined her husband in Heaven. Her loss stung badly - she comes to mind more often than one would expect two decades later. The first three losses I experienced in this lifetime were all grandparents. Not to sound harsh or insensitive, but there's something sort of "natural" about the order - albeit painful.
Death isn't always orderly. A quick review of the ten funerals attended in the last five or so years reveals the following:
- The average number of years on Earth: 37.2, far below the AMA's prediction.
- Three of the ten were murdered - clearly, no one plans for that.
- Two young men were killed in combat, no one can deny the risk involved when you send your son to war - but you cling to Psalm 91 and pray like crazy you'll see yours step off the bus at homecoming.
- One lost his life to a heart attack - very unexpectedly, and early.
- One young girl was in a car with her boyfriend on the way to a wedding rehearsal...a memorial service was far from thought.
- Three lost a battle to cancer...in all three cases, the battle was relatively short and two were very young.
- Only one of the ten actually lived the number of years the AMA predicts. Fortunately, he made the decision that led to his current residence in Heaven - only a few short years ago.
While there are countless people with more wisdom, there are a few things I've gotten a grasp on. Since life is so short - we cannot afford to waste the days. In my humble opinion, we should aspire to...
Work at loving fully and completely, striving to deepen relationships with those closest to us, rather than defaulting to a position of complacency and passivity. At the same time, resisting the temptation to "people please" - as I've seen in my life and in the lives of many around me - it leads to compromising of values, integrity and ultimately results in manipulation, pain, unnecessary angst, and oddly - sometimes alienation.
Invest wisely, becoming excellent stewards of the resources and blessings entrusted to us - not just money, but children, our physical body, time, talents, etc. Unfortunately, I've slacked off on this one with regard to my physical body and personal time...but am actively addressing those issues and believe they are key to living each day to the fullest! (Tough to grasp: REST.)
Serve others - It's true that the best way you can feel better about your 'stuff' is to help someone else out with 'theirs'. We're called to serve 'the least of these' and that can take on many forms....for some it's just offering a listening ear, for others it's a contribution of "wisely stewarded money, time and or talents." The opportunities are all around us - we just have to have eyes wide open, and sensitive hearts.
Deal with the toxic people in your life.... God doesn't say we have to remain in unhealthy, evil, manipulative relationships - regardless of bloodline or connection. It finally became clear, "not everyone will like me....and that's OKAY!" Truth be told, I'm not a "hater" but there are a handful of people I'm not particularly drawn to. I'd still help them (and have) in a crisis and would never wish harm upon them. Will we be hanging out as BFFs? nope. Probably not.
Own, embrace and give freely, forgiveness (not the same as restoration...you cannot restore a relationship with an unwilling participant - but you can forgive them even if they choose bitterness, resentment, and hatred.) I've been slandered in print and verbally, threats have come my way. Sadly - I've learned there are people I trusted that weren't trustworthy, there are people God has placed in my life who are easily sold out and who will sacrifice for mere financial gain....and I mean "mere". Forgiveness has freed me to laugh at some of the childlike antics rather than to retaliate or combust. (By the way, unforgiving people seem to have a harshness about them that's quite unbecoming...it hardens them on the inside and out and ages them beyond their years. It's actually sad.)
Make it your goal to laugh more - I believe God takes delight in our laughter - and sometimes my focus is such that I fail to see the humor abounding in my daily life. (Working on it!) It feels great to laugh - and an aspect of our purpose is indeed to enjoy God's creation. Look around - there's plenty to enjoy, regardless of circumstances! Monty Watson, a former pastor and still a friend, shared that "laughing more" was his New Year's Resolution a few years ago and I have to say - it was inspiring. (So over the "lose weight/save money bit!")
While making the above points priorities, we should be growing in wisdom - but we must first actively pursue it. If you're not already regularly reading scripture, Proverbs is a great place to start - it's the book of Wisdom, containing 31 Chapters - so read one chapter a day for a month!
Last weekend, along with several MHS classmates, we said goodbye to a friend. It was a bittersweet memorial service - sad because, as a single mom, she left behind a young daughter; sweet, because we all left with assurance she is now cancer-free and in Heaven for eternity. The officiating pastor said something clever, "We are all terminally ill." The moment we are born, we are moving toward our final breath. I simply want to make the most of the time He's allowing me to be here. Do you? While the list is probably considerably longer, and would manifest differently in each of our lives - I'd love to hear my friends thoughts on how we can make the most of each day we have. I don't want to get before my maker and reflect on a life barely memorable because I was "asleep at the wheel". Life is too short - and I know so many people who would agree that if given the opportunity to do it over, they would have made some very intentional changes.
Every life tells a story...and only God knows how it will end. How will the current chapter read? (Because of our free will - we get to help with the illustrations.)
T.
{ Quotes }
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." (Abraham Lincoln)
"God will one day hold us accountable for all the things He created for us to enjoy, but we refused to do so." (Rabbanic saying)
"Never lose an opportunity for seeing anything that is beautiful; For beauty is God's handwriting--a wayside sacrament. Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every fair flower, And thank God for it as a cup of His blessing." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
What a Difference Nineteen Years Make...
Her car is packed, the text books have been reserved, bedding chosen and laundered, the meal plan decided - and warm clothes for the "lake effect" snow have been acquired for my Georgia-born and bred daughter. Most of her final farewells have been bid - but the hardest one is yet to come.... AND it's all a blessing of incredible magnitude.
Almost nineteen years ago, after being home from the hospital for only a few days, I sat crying helplessly and uncontrollably at the top of the stairs in our tiny little townhouse. As she slept in her crib, overwhelming feelings of inadequacy took over. How was it that God would entrust a seemingly perfect being to me? I would surely let her down, and let Him down in the process. She deserved better - and like all babies, she sure didn't "ask" to be born to me.
With a vast sense of responsibility for another life, coupled with the understanding that I didn't know what it would look like "to be a good mom", it was apparent that sitting there bawling my eyes out was not going to help. So, with my unique set of inadequacies and an abundance of self-doubts, I prayed - a lot. In fact, nothing had ever led me to pray more fervently than embarking on the adventure of motherhood... and motherhood has since kept me praying - and learning too. There have been innumerable "a-ha" moments with all three of my children...living, breathing illustrations of my relationship with my Heavenly Father. The way He loves without fail, how He longs for me to make the right decisions, how when I've "blown it", He's there - not to rescue from all consequences, but to forgive and restore ...while I grow from the mistakes. He doesn't want me to hurt, but hurt is inevitable...He comforts his brokenhearted child - much as a Mom. Moments ago, I greeted my precious daughter at the door after she said goodbye to her boyfriend - tissues in hand and endless hugs, even a group hug with teary-eyed Daddy....and I even made promises of homemade chocolate chip cookies for the ride to Michigan. (Full disclosure: God has comforted me far greater than this - yet never have I audibly heard him promise chocolate.)
Realizing too, that our children are not really "ours"....is a hard lesson, one bathed in irony. They come into our lives, fully dependent on us for basic, physical needs. We are conditioned to hold on tight to them, to protect them, hold them, love on them - then years later, we are reminded that "they were never ours to begin with." We are then coached to "release them, hold them with an open hand, launch them into the world.... that's pretty ironic. Most of us moms love and nurture our children, and we sacrifice our own comfort, preferences and superficial "wants" in order to best provide for and protect our little ones. How some mothers (and fathers) abuse or neglect their children remains a mystery to me. They miss out on one of the greatest blessings we get to experience in this life!
So, tonight is the last night that my little Angel will sleep under our roof for awhile. This is still her home - she'll just be away for intermittent periods of time - much like a field trip, or camp or one of many of the Mission trips that have led up to this moment. William and I aren't going to consider ourselves "empty nesters" just yet. (I need to tell him that...) She is the last of our babies who will continue to call this "home" for a few years longer. This is where she'll return for holidays and special events, movie nights, quiet nights at home, twice a year "ice sledding" down the driveway, mother/daughter tangos in the kitchen, as well as our infinitely fabulous rendition of "Baby it's cold outside". The joys and the special closeness we have experienced as mom and daughter far outweigh the trials we have walked through.
As William and I have raised her and our other children, I'm not oblivious to the fact that God is still working on me in the process. (Let me add - that He MUST take delight in our duet....my singing may not appeal to all those around me, but to HIM - it's a joyful noise!)
For reasons I'll never understand, nineteen-plus years ago, God placed this precious life in the womb of a young woman - completely unqualified to lovingly nurture and raise her. Yet, as I look at her today, fully aware that she is not a product of my "expert parenting" - but she is evidence of God at work in our lives all this time. Recalling that afternoon cry at the top of the stairs 19 years ago, and knowing now, the incredible, Godly young woman who no longer sleeps in a crib, but still calls me "mommy" - I know without question He has never taken His hand off of either of us.
The tears streaming down my face today are different. They are tears of indescribable gratitude for the faithfulness of God.... for the blessing of a uniquely rich, lifelong, mom/daughter relationship - undeserved, cherished and humbling at the same time. There are tears because I already know that later this week, I will want to share a silly story, debate lyrics to a popular song, borrow a sweater or engage in a pre-recorded "jeoopardy" battle, or just simply, I'll want to hug her - but she'll not be here.
In the coming days, there will be more tears - I know this. HOWEVER, as I feel sadness from time to time and wonder "what comes next" .... there is complete confidence that God will be with us as we transition...There is no doubt, we will forever enjoy a close bond, it will just look a little different - some say it even gets better. To be honest, I'm thankful for these tears - evidence of a sweet relationship between an imperfect Mommy and her "littlest angel". Whatever the future holds, there is a proven track record of God's faithfulness in our lives.... I hope this is a lesson that will carry on to her grandchildren's children. The Faithfulness of God - confidence for the future.
Well, that's it for now.... I need to go help with the final shoe selection and bake some chocolate chip cookies.
T
Almost nineteen years ago, after being home from the hospital for only a few days, I sat crying helplessly and uncontrollably at the top of the stairs in our tiny little townhouse. As she slept in her crib, overwhelming feelings of inadequacy took over. How was it that God would entrust a seemingly perfect being to me? I would surely let her down, and let Him down in the process. She deserved better - and like all babies, she sure didn't "ask" to be born to me.
With a vast sense of responsibility for another life, coupled with the understanding that I didn't know what it would look like "to be a good mom", it was apparent that sitting there bawling my eyes out was not going to help. So, with my unique set of inadequacies and an abundance of self-doubts, I prayed - a lot. In fact, nothing had ever led me to pray more fervently than embarking on the adventure of motherhood... and motherhood has since kept me praying - and learning too. There have been innumerable "a-ha" moments with all three of my children...living, breathing illustrations of my relationship with my Heavenly Father. The way He loves without fail, how He longs for me to make the right decisions, how when I've "blown it", He's there - not to rescue from all consequences, but to forgive and restore ...while I grow from the mistakes. He doesn't want me to hurt, but hurt is inevitable...He comforts his brokenhearted child - much as a Mom. Moments ago, I greeted my precious daughter at the door after she said goodbye to her boyfriend - tissues in hand and endless hugs, even a group hug with teary-eyed Daddy....and I even made promises of homemade chocolate chip cookies for the ride to Michigan. (Full disclosure: God has comforted me far greater than this - yet never have I audibly heard him promise chocolate.)
Realizing too, that our children are not really "ours"....is a hard lesson, one bathed in irony. They come into our lives, fully dependent on us for basic, physical needs. We are conditioned to hold on tight to them, to protect them, hold them, love on them - then years later, we are reminded that "they were never ours to begin with." We are then coached to "release them, hold them with an open hand, launch them into the world.... that's pretty ironic. Most of us moms love and nurture our children, and we sacrifice our own comfort, preferences and superficial "wants" in order to best provide for and protect our little ones. How some mothers (and fathers) abuse or neglect their children remains a mystery to me. They miss out on one of the greatest blessings we get to experience in this life!
So, tonight is the last night that my little Angel will sleep under our roof for awhile. This is still her home - she'll just be away for intermittent periods of time - much like a field trip, or camp or one of many of the Mission trips that have led up to this moment. William and I aren't going to consider ourselves "empty nesters" just yet. (I need to tell him that...) She is the last of our babies who will continue to call this "home" for a few years longer. This is where she'll return for holidays and special events, movie nights, quiet nights at home, twice a year "ice sledding" down the driveway, mother/daughter tangos in the kitchen, as well as our infinitely fabulous rendition of "Baby it's cold outside". The joys and the special closeness we have experienced as mom and daughter far outweigh the trials we have walked through.
As William and I have raised her and our other children, I'm not oblivious to the fact that God is still working on me in the process. (Let me add - that He MUST take delight in our duet....my singing may not appeal to all those around me, but to HIM - it's a joyful noise!)
For reasons I'll never understand, nineteen-plus years ago, God placed this precious life in the womb of a young woman - completely unqualified to lovingly nurture and raise her. Yet, as I look at her today, fully aware that she is not a product of my "expert parenting" - but she is evidence of God at work in our lives all this time. Recalling that afternoon cry at the top of the stairs 19 years ago, and knowing now, the incredible, Godly young woman who no longer sleeps in a crib, but still calls me "mommy" - I know without question He has never taken His hand off of either of us.
The tears streaming down my face today are different. They are tears of indescribable gratitude for the faithfulness of God.... for the blessing of a uniquely rich, lifelong, mom/daughter relationship - undeserved, cherished and humbling at the same time. There are tears because I already know that later this week, I will want to share a silly story, debate lyrics to a popular song, borrow a sweater or engage in a pre-recorded "jeoopardy" battle, or just simply, I'll want to hug her - but she'll not be here.
In the coming days, there will be more tears - I know this. HOWEVER, as I feel sadness from time to time and wonder "what comes next" .... there is complete confidence that God will be with us as we transition...There is no doubt, we will forever enjoy a close bond, it will just look a little different - some say it even gets better. To be honest, I'm thankful for these tears - evidence of a sweet relationship between an imperfect Mommy and her "littlest angel". Whatever the future holds, there is a proven track record of God's faithfulness in our lives.... I hope this is a lesson that will carry on to her grandchildren's children. The Faithfulness of God - confidence for the future.
Well, that's it for now.... I need to go help with the final shoe selection and bake some chocolate chip cookies.
T
Friday, June 4, 2010
Broken Bones, Scars and Ugly Blue Pintos
Monday is the anniversary of one of the absolute worst days of my life...or so it used to be categorized. Athough it took a number of years for my shallow mind to realize, June 7th marks one of many "watershed" moments. Thankfully, the total recollection I once feared would return, has eluded me for more than 20 years now. However, with vivid detail, I can recall and recite a conversation with my dad which concluded just moments before my body and life as I knew it, would be cast into a new and unimaginable chaos.
Wearing one of my favorite outfits: Gloria Vanderbilt Jeans, a deep purple polo worn beneath a short-sleeve lavender oxford, and my favorite shoes at the time - Bass pennyloafers, I said goodbye to my dad. My destination was probably the length of 2 football fields away, but the driveway was visible from mine and only one house separated us. Beginning in 4th grade, my bus stop was that same driveway. Having made the short trek 100s if not 1000s of times before, there was no hint of concern that this short journey would be different. There was no way of predicting it would be the last time my feet would walk that path.
Witnesses confirmed that the young teenage girl (me) was walking a few feet off the side of the road - facing oncoming traffic. One neighbor a few houses beyond my destination was mowing his lawn. Apparently, we exchanged a casual wave just before he realized my impending doom. Mr. Siragusa told the police and my family members that he had attempted to scream a warning, but when he opened his mouth - no sound came out. The "unintended silence" was credited with saving my life...eventually.
Mr. Siragusa, a fulltime firefighter, husband and father had a front row, unobstructed view of my body being catapulted well over 100 ft from behind. As my body took unexpected flight, my head and right arm were ripped open on a metal road sign. As the aerial flailing continued - my body richoeted off a large, wooden, Bellsouth cable spool, bouncing then from the ground and finally coming to rest against a large tree in the front yard of my friend's grandmother's home. Being the shy quiet type, I was not into grand entrances...but, airborn, bloody and with broken parts, I made it to the intended destination, unconscious. (Thank God!)
Written and verbal accounts of the accident filled in the blanks, helping me to later understand some of the jagged tears in my flesh, the need for a back brace, the potential loss of an arm, and countless surgeries over my highschool career. For a girl who had never had a broken bone or even stitches, this particular summer did not start out well!
My mangled body attracted quite a crowd. Someone called my parents and they joined the scene...Mr. Siragusa was the perfect person to have witnessed and been the first to respond to my broken body. An ambulance arrived after 15 minutes and volunteer firefighters were doing whatever they could to help. My poor dad was sitting near my head, crying. As care was issued, I temporarily regained consciousness and through painful cries, I kept yelling "Daddy....you're standing on my arm....please get off my arm." This too has been communicated by people/friends/family that were there. That situation makes me sad for him...he was concerned that his oldest child was dying and she was yelling at him to get off her arm, He wasn't even near it.
The next thing I remember: laying in a cold, sterile-looking ER, on a gurney. There again, my dad. In typical "dad" form, he was pulling the white sheet up closer to my ears. A painfully modest girl at that age, I was grateful for the extra coverage. My formerly favorite outfit, now covered in blood, had been cut off and thrown in a plastic bag.
It's a strange thing to recall familiar faces coming to your side, and saying their "goodbyes." No one had to tell me what was happening, instinctively I knew. But God had something else in mind - I'm still here!
In and out of consciousness, the next "concrete memory" is waking up in another hospital room as my mouth was being wiped with lemon swabs. I had no idea that a car had hit me - clearly, there was "stuff" wrong with me but I had no idea who/what/how/when/where and to what extent. Aside from the 3 significant memories of that 48 hour period, all information was filled in later by family, friends, visitors, medical records and ID bracelets.
At the time, the miracles taking place were not registering. Little by little though, I learned. For starters, due to extensive bloodloss, shock and head injuries - my life was expected to end the night of the accident (ergo the family farewells.) After a certain amount of time, and transfusions - there was hope: hope for a life likely confined to a bed or wheelchair, paralyzed by spinal injuries. X-rays revealed a broken back...no one mentioned that for awhile. (But now - it's a pretty incredible concept to grasp!)
The portable xray machine scanned my body as I laid flat in the bed...still only having "lemon swabs" and ice chips on that third day. Unbeknownst to me then, multiple x-rays pointed to a likelihood of paralysis. Those x-rays quickly became moot. Another miracle! New films revealed crushed vertabrae - a far better scenario than the original diagnosis. (Happy to sit upright in the hospital bed!)
The orthopedic surgeon who initally addressed my arm, told my parents that he needed to amputate it. Thankfully, the assigned plastic surgeon requested a second opinion from another specialist he knew. While it was a long process, ultimately taking a few years, 15 casts, multiple settings, surgeries, titanium parts, a bone graph, traction, physical , hydro and electrical therapies, months after the accident - there was insane excitement over the newfound ability to lift my index finger "ever so slightly." A new hope.
While there were several injuries from head to toe, and many scars remain today - the one that stands out is the shattered right humerus. The words "compound fracture" still make me shiver. During the course of the accident, my right arm became grossly disfigured and as shared above, it looked like it wasn't salvageable. The humerus not only snapped completely in two - totally broken, the jagged pieces of bone penetrated the skin multiple times, almost ripping my arm completely off below the shoulder. It was a mess. Some shards of bone are probably still buried in the ground where I landed.
"Humerus observation"
From my first breath - I too, was a mess. Broken, born with a sinful nature - like my arm, grossly imperfect. Without miraculous grace, unsalvageable. Dr. Rothenberg (whom I adored), invested a lot of time, wisdom and patience in me and my broken limb...becoming another "father figure" of sorts in the process. After the bone graph, and 5 1/2 hour surgery to encapsulate the pieces of bone with steel, held in place by four screws, Dr. Rothenberg told me that it was literally IMPOSSIBLE for the right humerus to be broken again...apparently the pieces of bone would bond like permanent glue to the 4" of metal, forming a PERMANENT seal. Of course, the steel wasn't going to break either.
Another monumental event had taken place a few years earlier, also in the month of June. I had placed my faith in Jesus. While I had a saving faith, and a basic understanding...it took years for me to fully grasp (well, as much as my humanity will allow) - the magnitude of that day. On June 12th 1980, another Great Physician, (and like Dr. Rothenberg - Jewish), healed me in a way that couldn't be undone. Another permanent seal, this one eternal.
For years, I was uncomfortable allowing the scars on my right arm to be seen. Long sleeves were my friend. For the most part now, I don't mind wearing sleeveless tops (except for that little "jiggle" where my triceps used to be - where did that come from???) People will still ask me what happened to my arm - and it doesn't bother me at all. The scars are a reminder of the greatness of God, of many miracles surrounding the accident that forever changed my body, changed my life.
Sadly, there were times in my life when I was uncomfortable letting my faith be made visible to others. There are no doubt people who knew me in my late teens/early 20s who would be mystified to learn that I was a Christian. Thankfully, though - there wasn't anything I could do to reverse the healing that had taken place in my heart. I regret the time spent living "my way". To later realize the missed opportunities in my younger days, grieves me and I'm sure grieved God. It makes me want to not go there again...
Like the visual reminders on my arm, I no longer try to hide who I really am.
Scars tell stories about who we are, and what we've been through. I have many that can easily be seen and many that no one would realize - because they exist on the inside. The invisible scars, while resulting from horrible experiences, they have been made lovely - and those circumstances have been instrumental in making me who I am today...and admittedly, very much a work in progress! While there isn't an emblazened mark or tatto signifying the day of my salvation, my hope is that others will see through the life I live, evidence of a miraculous healing.
June 7th is another one of those days each year that brings reflection. Some would say to "forget" about those bad days and certainly don't "marinate" in them. But, looking at some of lifes's experiences and remembering how bad off or wounded we once were, serves as a humbling reminder of The One who is actually orchestrating all things, The One who can bring healing, The One who is Never surprised, The One who loves us in the same way we love our children when they are off course, The One who delights in us when we "get it" and "live it", The One who is the Author and Perfector of our Faith. Humbling and inspiring.
A few nights ago, I stumbled across a verse in Mark 5:41 - Jesus, took the hand of a young dying girl and said, "Talitha Kum!" (translated "Little girl, I say to you, get up!") I love the way we can read a passage of scripture many times, and then one day it just resonates with us.
There have been many times, when I felt hopeless, sick, discouarged, etc. I know those same words were spoken to me...still a little girl in a 41 year old body. "Talitha Kum!"
Now you know the story behind "Blue Pinto Day"...a day of reflection, gratitude and celebration.
Wearing one of my favorite outfits: Gloria Vanderbilt Jeans, a deep purple polo worn beneath a short-sleeve lavender oxford, and my favorite shoes at the time - Bass pennyloafers, I said goodbye to my dad. My destination was probably the length of 2 football fields away, but the driveway was visible from mine and only one house separated us. Beginning in 4th grade, my bus stop was that same driveway. Having made the short trek 100s if not 1000s of times before, there was no hint of concern that this short journey would be different. There was no way of predicting it would be the last time my feet would walk that path.
Witnesses confirmed that the young teenage girl (me) was walking a few feet off the side of the road - facing oncoming traffic. One neighbor a few houses beyond my destination was mowing his lawn. Apparently, we exchanged a casual wave just before he realized my impending doom. Mr. Siragusa told the police and my family members that he had attempted to scream a warning, but when he opened his mouth - no sound came out. The "unintended silence" was credited with saving my life...eventually.
Mr. Siragusa, a fulltime firefighter, husband and father had a front row, unobstructed view of my body being catapulted well over 100 ft from behind. As my body took unexpected flight, my head and right arm were ripped open on a metal road sign. As the aerial flailing continued - my body richoeted off a large, wooden, Bellsouth cable spool, bouncing then from the ground and finally coming to rest against a large tree in the front yard of my friend's grandmother's home. Being the shy quiet type, I was not into grand entrances...but, airborn, bloody and with broken parts, I made it to the intended destination, unconscious. (Thank God!)
Written and verbal accounts of the accident filled in the blanks, helping me to later understand some of the jagged tears in my flesh, the need for a back brace, the potential loss of an arm, and countless surgeries over my highschool career. For a girl who had never had a broken bone or even stitches, this particular summer did not start out well!
My mangled body attracted quite a crowd. Someone called my parents and they joined the scene...Mr. Siragusa was the perfect person to have witnessed and been the first to respond to my broken body. An ambulance arrived after 15 minutes and volunteer firefighters were doing whatever they could to help. My poor dad was sitting near my head, crying. As care was issued, I temporarily regained consciousness and through painful cries, I kept yelling "Daddy....you're standing on my arm....please get off my arm." This too has been communicated by people/friends/family that were there. That situation makes me sad for him...he was concerned that his oldest child was dying and she was yelling at him to get off her arm, He wasn't even near it.
The next thing I remember: laying in a cold, sterile-looking ER, on a gurney. There again, my dad. In typical "dad" form, he was pulling the white sheet up closer to my ears. A painfully modest girl at that age, I was grateful for the extra coverage. My formerly favorite outfit, now covered in blood, had been cut off and thrown in a plastic bag.
It's a strange thing to recall familiar faces coming to your side, and saying their "goodbyes." No one had to tell me what was happening, instinctively I knew. But God had something else in mind - I'm still here!
In and out of consciousness, the next "concrete memory" is waking up in another hospital room as my mouth was being wiped with lemon swabs. I had no idea that a car had hit me - clearly, there was "stuff" wrong with me but I had no idea who/what/how/when/where and to what extent. Aside from the 3 significant memories of that 48 hour period, all information was filled in later by family, friends, visitors, medical records and ID bracelets.
At the time, the miracles taking place were not registering. Little by little though, I learned. For starters, due to extensive bloodloss, shock and head injuries - my life was expected to end the night of the accident (ergo the family farewells.) After a certain amount of time, and transfusions - there was hope: hope for a life likely confined to a bed or wheelchair, paralyzed by spinal injuries. X-rays revealed a broken back...no one mentioned that for awhile. (But now - it's a pretty incredible concept to grasp!)
The portable xray machine scanned my body as I laid flat in the bed...still only having "lemon swabs" and ice chips on that third day. Unbeknownst to me then, multiple x-rays pointed to a likelihood of paralysis. Those x-rays quickly became moot. Another miracle! New films revealed crushed vertabrae - a far better scenario than the original diagnosis. (Happy to sit upright in the hospital bed!)
The orthopedic surgeon who initally addressed my arm, told my parents that he needed to amputate it. Thankfully, the assigned plastic surgeon requested a second opinion from another specialist he knew. While it was a long process, ultimately taking a few years, 15 casts, multiple settings, surgeries, titanium parts, a bone graph, traction, physical , hydro and electrical therapies, months after the accident - there was insane excitement over the newfound ability to lift my index finger "ever so slightly." A new hope.
While there were several injuries from head to toe, and many scars remain today - the one that stands out is the shattered right humerus. The words "compound fracture" still make me shiver. During the course of the accident, my right arm became grossly disfigured and as shared above, it looked like it wasn't salvageable. The humerus not only snapped completely in two - totally broken, the jagged pieces of bone penetrated the skin multiple times, almost ripping my arm completely off below the shoulder. It was a mess. Some shards of bone are probably still buried in the ground where I landed.
"Humerus observation"
From my first breath - I too, was a mess. Broken, born with a sinful nature - like my arm, grossly imperfect. Without miraculous grace, unsalvageable. Dr. Rothenberg (whom I adored), invested a lot of time, wisdom and patience in me and my broken limb...becoming another "father figure" of sorts in the process. After the bone graph, and 5 1/2 hour surgery to encapsulate the pieces of bone with steel, held in place by four screws, Dr. Rothenberg told me that it was literally IMPOSSIBLE for the right humerus to be broken again...apparently the pieces of bone would bond like permanent glue to the 4" of metal, forming a PERMANENT seal. Of course, the steel wasn't going to break either.
Another monumental event had taken place a few years earlier, also in the month of June. I had placed my faith in Jesus. While I had a saving faith, and a basic understanding...it took years for me to fully grasp (well, as much as my humanity will allow) - the magnitude of that day. On June 12th 1980, another Great Physician, (and like Dr. Rothenberg - Jewish), healed me in a way that couldn't be undone. Another permanent seal, this one eternal.
For years, I was uncomfortable allowing the scars on my right arm to be seen. Long sleeves were my friend. For the most part now, I don't mind wearing sleeveless tops (except for that little "jiggle" where my triceps used to be - where did that come from???) People will still ask me what happened to my arm - and it doesn't bother me at all. The scars are a reminder of the greatness of God, of many miracles surrounding the accident that forever changed my body, changed my life.
Sadly, there were times in my life when I was uncomfortable letting my faith be made visible to others. There are no doubt people who knew me in my late teens/early 20s who would be mystified to learn that I was a Christian. Thankfully, though - there wasn't anything I could do to reverse the healing that had taken place in my heart. I regret the time spent living "my way". To later realize the missed opportunities in my younger days, grieves me and I'm sure grieved God. It makes me want to not go there again...
Like the visual reminders on my arm, I no longer try to hide who I really am.
Scars tell stories about who we are, and what we've been through. I have many that can easily be seen and many that no one would realize - because they exist on the inside. The invisible scars, while resulting from horrible experiences, they have been made lovely - and those circumstances have been instrumental in making me who I am today...and admittedly, very much a work in progress! While there isn't an emblazened mark or tatto signifying the day of my salvation, my hope is that others will see through the life I live, evidence of a miraculous healing.
June 7th is another one of those days each year that brings reflection. Some would say to "forget" about those bad days and certainly don't "marinate" in them. But, looking at some of lifes's experiences and remembering how bad off or wounded we once were, serves as a humbling reminder of The One who is actually orchestrating all things, The One who can bring healing, The One who is Never surprised, The One who loves us in the same way we love our children when they are off course, The One who delights in us when we "get it" and "live it", The One who is the Author and Perfector of our Faith. Humbling and inspiring.
A few nights ago, I stumbled across a verse in Mark 5:41 - Jesus, took the hand of a young dying girl and said, "Talitha Kum!" (translated "Little girl, I say to you, get up!") I love the way we can read a passage of scripture many times, and then one day it just resonates with us.
There have been many times, when I felt hopeless, sick, discouarged, etc. I know those same words were spoken to me...still a little girl in a 41 year old body. "Talitha Kum!"
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Acorns
Being on a church staff exposes one to frequent, DAILY reminders of the greatness of our God. Members of the congregation, along with people across the country who have heard a sermon on the radio or online - will call in or send emails to let us know how their lives have been transformed through the Power of the Holy Spirit. Very often, I am moved to tears by the testimonies shared. Life is messy - yet we see beauty for ashes.
Sometimes, we are too quick to "credit" Satan with turmoil or challenges faced. It's true that the Enemy does attack us. Spiritual warfare is very real - but my first thought is usually that God is doing "something" in the midst of whatever trial is faced. Usually, I think of these challenging times as an "opportunity for growth" in the life of a daughter - seen and understood only by a Loving Father. Most of the time.
Last week, my husband, two daughters and our grandblessing were excitedly driving to Camp LeJeune to welcome my son back from a seven month deployment to Afghanistan. It had been an emotional seven months, (lots of opportunity for growth in this Mom's heart!) The anticipation of his arrival, coupled with my younger daughter's graduation from high school, and compounded by the shrill screams of a 17 month old, unhappy about 8 1/2 hours in the car...made for a long, emotionally draining day. But - nothing could rob this Mom of the joy of knowing her son was out of harm's way. Nor could be robbed, the warm relief of the "welcome home hug" that would replace the memory of the "goodbye hug" I replayed in my mind every day for seven months.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.....could minimize the joy. Or could it? I began to have doubts. After all, this day wasn't about me - and I didn't want it to become that. While the thought of seeing my young marine come off the bus and give me the promised, very special, "second hug" (second only to my soon to be, daughter-in-law) this day was about welcoming back heroes, one of them just happened to be my son. My primary objective was to make him feel loved, honored, welcomed and least of all - pressured, conflicted, and crowded. He had been away from the comforts of home, far from those he loves, and he had seen very difficult days in the time away. This was his day.
Thank God - he is safe. My husband and I were overwhelmed with emotion when we received the phone call from the FRO (family readiness officer) - that the plane had landed at a nearby airbase. Just knowing he was on the ground was overwhelming relief. After recovering from "happy tears" and a lengthy embrace with my husband, my thoughts again went to Tyler. The question in my mind: "what did he feel like the moment the plane touched down?" As the options ran through my mind, the tears again started flowing - what an emotional day this was!
Many back home were aware of this monumental day for our family - and many were praying for all aspects. Interestingly, our staff had spent considerable time talking about spiritual warfare in the days leading up to Homecoming. Ephesians 6:10-20, was fresh on my mind and a couple of close friends had encouraged me to pray through this specifically in conjunction with the Homecoming. (We should pray through this every day.)
Hubby and I also knew that we would face one of the two most evil people we've ever known and dealt with. With her presence, comes volatile potential. Our primary concern was that nothing interfere with or hinder Tyler's re-entry. Based on history, and the manipulation that led up to this very day - we prayed specifically that she'd not take from his joy. We've prayed this kind of prayer for all of our kids too many times to count - it's one thing to mess with me, but I cannot face well, the thought of another harming my children in any way. (Even now that they are all "adults".)
Back to logistics: hubby, both daughters and 17 month old grandblessing left the hotel not long after checking in and drove toward the "Homecoming Site". Emotions were high. Traffic was backed up. There was an accident, and a car fire and hundreds of other cars with families preparing to welcome back their Marine. We were listening to music and we were singing and having fun - all eager to see the "Man of the Day". Something prompted me to stop singing and start praying again... it was another text from a friend at church saying "Ephesians 6:10-20". So, I closed my eyes and was going through the "Armor of God." My eyes were closed, but abruptly opened when our car lunged forward in an intersection, after stopping at a light. I was trying to figure out what was going on as my husband indicated a loss of all power, including steering...and we drifted off the shoulder of the road as he struggled to turn the wheel away from an embankment.
With total transparency, I confess that I was giving Satan "credit" (again, not usually my modus operandi.) Sadly, my thought was "okay, you are really throwing darts at us today!" Seriously???? I was just praying against you and your forces - and you mess with our car???? Today - of all days!!! This is really BOLD. Fine.... I'll pray some more. As hubby got the car to start, and as it sputtered - I prayed that we would get to the Homecoming site in time to be there for the big moment. If we had to call for a tow truck following that long-awaited hug, then so be it. Just get us there God... PLEASE. We turned off the radio and I read Ephesians 6:10-20 aloud.
So...we sputtered and stalled and we arrived on base. Phew! We were in "position" a few hours before we saw the smile we all know and love so dearly. After the festivities concluded, the car started. Our son, his soon to be Bride, and her parents, drove in front of us as a precaution. With a few more "sputters" along the way, we made it to to our destination (our son's first home, away from us - besides the barracks.) We all enjoyed a couple of hours of just being together - and capped it off with BBQ in the wee hours of morning!
After closing our eyes for just a couple of hours of rest, my husband got up and left for the local dealership. He wanted to ensure the car issues would not interfere with the family day that was before us. He was there as they opened. After an hour or so, he called to tell me the issue. "You're not going to believe this! They found an acorn in our air intake." This may as well have been spoken in Aramaic, because my knowledge of cars is limited....VERY limited!
However, I totally understand what my husband said next, "The mechanic said we must have had someone watching over us." The acorn should have blocked the necessary oxygen-rich, fresh air from getting to the motor, easily resulting in a seized engine...in bumper to bumper traffic or at highway speeds. duh. We know who was watching over us...even though, (GULP) I allowed my mind to go in the opposite direction.
So, another reminder of God's protective hand.... of the way He works in our lives, in the details, even in auto mechanics. Prayerfully, this illustration will come to mind the next time I sense things are going awry. It may actually mean He's got me in the palm of His all powerful Hand, protecting and moving me to where I need to be.
Often, God sends us through seasons of "refining" - and it's nothing to do with Satan. Sometimes, the mucky stuff we walk through is nothing more than consequences for bad choices. Then, there are times, when we initially perceive that God has taken His hand off of us for a "moment" and that we are under attack - when later we realize, "We were actually cupped in His Hand." We've all had seemingly "unanswered prayers" but it's not necessarily that they're unanswered, but answered differently than we had hoped - but with outcomes far better than we had imagined." Sometimes, it may just be a short-term issue like with our acorn. The situation may go on for months or even years....we need to pray, listen for Him in the midst of it, and look for ways to to glorify Him as a result.
Metaphorically, we've all had "acorns in our air intake". How comforting to know He watches out for us even when the "acorn" wasn't even a perceived threat!
T.
"O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love." (Psalm 59:17)
Sometimes, we are too quick to "credit" Satan with turmoil or challenges faced. It's true that the Enemy does attack us. Spiritual warfare is very real - but my first thought is usually that God is doing "something" in the midst of whatever trial is faced. Usually, I think of these challenging times as an "opportunity for growth" in the life of a daughter - seen and understood only by a Loving Father. Most of the time.
Last week, my husband, two daughters and our grandblessing were excitedly driving to Camp LeJeune to welcome my son back from a seven month deployment to Afghanistan. It had been an emotional seven months, (lots of opportunity for growth in this Mom's heart!) The anticipation of his arrival, coupled with my younger daughter's graduation from high school, and compounded by the shrill screams of a 17 month old, unhappy about 8 1/2 hours in the car...made for a long, emotionally draining day. But - nothing could rob this Mom of the joy of knowing her son was out of harm's way. Nor could be robbed, the warm relief of the "welcome home hug" that would replace the memory of the "goodbye hug" I replayed in my mind every day for seven months.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.....could minimize the joy. Or could it? I began to have doubts. After all, this day wasn't about me - and I didn't want it to become that. While the thought of seeing my young marine come off the bus and give me the promised, very special, "second hug" (second only to my soon to be, daughter-in-law) this day was about welcoming back heroes, one of them just happened to be my son. My primary objective was to make him feel loved, honored, welcomed and least of all - pressured, conflicted, and crowded. He had been away from the comforts of home, far from those he loves, and he had seen very difficult days in the time away. This was his day.
Thank God - he is safe. My husband and I were overwhelmed with emotion when we received the phone call from the FRO (family readiness officer) - that the plane had landed at a nearby airbase. Just knowing he was on the ground was overwhelming relief. After recovering from "happy tears" and a lengthy embrace with my husband, my thoughts again went to Tyler. The question in my mind: "what did he feel like the moment the plane touched down?" As the options ran through my mind, the tears again started flowing - what an emotional day this was!
Many back home were aware of this monumental day for our family - and many were praying for all aspects. Interestingly, our staff had spent considerable time talking about spiritual warfare in the days leading up to Homecoming. Ephesians 6:10-20, was fresh on my mind and a couple of close friends had encouraged me to pray through this specifically in conjunction with the Homecoming. (We should pray through this every day.)
Hubby and I also knew that we would face one of the two most evil people we've ever known and dealt with. With her presence, comes volatile potential. Our primary concern was that nothing interfere with or hinder Tyler's re-entry. Based on history, and the manipulation that led up to this very day - we prayed specifically that she'd not take from his joy. We've prayed this kind of prayer for all of our kids too many times to count - it's one thing to mess with me, but I cannot face well, the thought of another harming my children in any way. (Even now that they are all "adults".)
Back to logistics: hubby, both daughters and 17 month old grandblessing left the hotel not long after checking in and drove toward the "Homecoming Site". Emotions were high. Traffic was backed up. There was an accident, and a car fire and hundreds of other cars with families preparing to welcome back their Marine. We were listening to music and we were singing and having fun - all eager to see the "Man of the Day". Something prompted me to stop singing and start praying again... it was another text from a friend at church saying "Ephesians 6:10-20". So, I closed my eyes and was going through the "Armor of God." My eyes were closed, but abruptly opened when our car lunged forward in an intersection, after stopping at a light. I was trying to figure out what was going on as my husband indicated a loss of all power, including steering...and we drifted off the shoulder of the road as he struggled to turn the wheel away from an embankment.
With total transparency, I confess that I was giving Satan "credit" (again, not usually my modus operandi.) Sadly, my thought was "okay, you are really throwing darts at us today!" Seriously???? I was just praying against you and your forces - and you mess with our car???? Today - of all days!!! This is really BOLD. Fine.... I'll pray some more. As hubby got the car to start, and as it sputtered - I prayed that we would get to the Homecoming site in time to be there for the big moment. If we had to call for a tow truck following that long-awaited hug, then so be it. Just get us there God... PLEASE. We turned off the radio and I read Ephesians 6:10-20 aloud.
So...we sputtered and stalled and we arrived on base. Phew! We were in "position" a few hours before we saw the smile we all know and love so dearly. After the festivities concluded, the car started. Our son, his soon to be Bride, and her parents, drove in front of us as a precaution. With a few more "sputters" along the way, we made it to to our destination (our son's first home, away from us - besides the barracks.) We all enjoyed a couple of hours of just being together - and capped it off with BBQ in the wee hours of morning!
After closing our eyes for just a couple of hours of rest, my husband got up and left for the local dealership. He wanted to ensure the car issues would not interfere with the family day that was before us. He was there as they opened. After an hour or so, he called to tell me the issue. "You're not going to believe this! They found an acorn in our air intake." This may as well have been spoken in Aramaic, because my knowledge of cars is limited....VERY limited!
However, I totally understand what my husband said next, "The mechanic said we must have had someone watching over us." The acorn should have blocked the necessary oxygen-rich, fresh air from getting to the motor, easily resulting in a seized engine...in bumper to bumper traffic or at highway speeds. duh. We know who was watching over us...even though, (GULP) I allowed my mind to go in the opposite direction.
So, another reminder of God's protective hand.... of the way He works in our lives, in the details, even in auto mechanics. Prayerfully, this illustration will come to mind the next time I sense things are going awry. It may actually mean He's got me in the palm of His all powerful Hand, protecting and moving me to where I need to be.
Often, God sends us through seasons of "refining" - and it's nothing to do with Satan. Sometimes, the mucky stuff we walk through is nothing more than consequences for bad choices. Then, there are times, when we initially perceive that God has taken His hand off of us for a "moment" and that we are under attack - when later we realize, "We were actually cupped in His Hand." We've all had seemingly "unanswered prayers" but it's not necessarily that they're unanswered, but answered differently than we had hoped - but with outcomes far better than we had imagined." Sometimes, it may just be a short-term issue like with our acorn. The situation may go on for months or even years....we need to pray, listen for Him in the midst of it, and look for ways to to glorify Him as a result.
Metaphorically, we've all had "acorns in our air intake". How comforting to know He watches out for us even when the "acorn" wasn't even a perceived threat!
T.
"O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love." (Psalm 59:17)
Friday, May 21, 2010
"Snapshots"
In just a few short hours, I'll click the final "pre-awake, last day of the school year " photo.....EVER. All three of my children have been routinely subjected to pre-dawn flashes of light as they slumber, just prior to the sounding of morning alarms and/or wake-up calls. These photos have occurred most consistently on the mornings of birthdays, Christmas, and the first and last days of each school year. Needless to say, we have amassed quite a collection of nocturnal photos! While my children, at times "pretended" to be annoyed by a mom with a penchant toward capturing their "Kodak Moments"... they LOVE it. My heart was recently blessed when my oldest shared that she has started the same photo practices with my grandson.
Undoubtedly, I'm not the first to photo-document most every event (and many "non-events") in the lives of my children...but this tradition wasn't one that either my husband or I were exposed to prior to implementing it with our own family. It sounds a bit corny...but looking back over the years - it's fun to see the changing faces, the changing morning backdrops (from Firetrucks, to 101 Dalmations, to Sports themes, solids, plaids, and the final requested "more manly" bedding) The girls have ranged from Minnie Mouse and Tweety Bird to more sophisticated toile prints (and many in between!) The impending final photo in this 'series' has led to contemplation about the value of photographs.
We've all heard that a picture is worth a 1000 words... I firmly believe 1000 words is a conservative estimate. Quite truthfully, the subject matter of your photos likely reveals a lot more than one might initially consider - priorities and preferences become apparent. Your "favorites" are as public as your "viewing audience." While it's true that "all children are different and therefore must be treated differently" - that's no excuse for blatant favoritism. I will go to great lengths to ensure my children and grandchildren will all be made to feel loved and valued. It's ridiculously irresponsible and hurtful to have 100s of photos of one or more child on display - compared to 0-3 of others. "Different children/Different treatment" implies a different methods of communicating, interacting, etc. In no way, is devaluing one or more child acceptable. They'd all like to see the snapshots of themselves at grandma/grandpas, etc. ...to know that they were well thought of, loved, and cherished - a meaningful member of the family. Differences in personalities and circumstances don't negate value...poor behavior shouldn't warrant preferential treatment, these practices lead to serious dysfunction-based on tons of personal experience. (A matter near to my heart for as long as can be recalled.) Seriously, some would do well to reread the story of Joseph and his brothers. There are plenty of biblical warnings about playing favorites with children. Consider snapshots carefully.... just because no one brings an issue to your attention, don't assume a lack of harm.
Portraits are typically "planned"....and are oftentimes given as gifts to family members or enclosed with annual Christmas cards. Over the years, we have predetermined acceptable "color schemes", clothing styles, patterns, backdrops, etc. We've done this: in professional studios, on the beach, in our living room, backyard, parks, etc. The intent is always to put the very best image (pun intended) in front of the people we know. This is certainly not to discount the value of family portraits - I'm a huge fan. However, when I peruse the thousands of pictures we've taken of our family of five - "portraits" don't elicit emotional responses quite like candid snapshots do.
Yesterday, we were blessed to welcome my son back to the US after a seven month deployment to Afghanistan. Our immediate family had a total of six cameras covering his long-anticipated homecoming. We were not alone. There were many just like us - huddled together in anticipation of the buses' arrival, eagerly waiting/listening/watching for the first sign of the young men we have loved as a son, brother, fiancée, husband or father. Most of the multitude were family in every sense of the word - having done "life" together for as long as could be remembered. However, there was a population of "photo opp seekers". (More than just a few.)
It has become increasingly apparent that this seemingly superficial demographic thrives on showing up at major milestones of those they want to be "credited" or "associated" with. (My experience dates back decades - and has only been reinforced and amplified as I've seen it play out a second generation.)
People with this shallow, self-serving motivation may have captured some of the same images as those of us who have been family for the long haul - but that's not what ultimately matters. Unless you've been an active, involved, positive influencer in a growing child's life - you're not likely to have experienced, and thus retained, the precious "day to day" images. Those moments instrumental in the shaping of a child to an adult - not the resulting ceremonies and celebrations.
The family snapshots we hold very dear contain just about anything imaginable.."daddy pulling teeth", photos of homework sessions, parallel parking, makeovers, folding laundry, preparing family dinners together (menu to cleanup), building a pergola, mowing the lawn, hanging out in the house with friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, cousins, etc. The day we bought the boat, the day we sold the boat, the first ride on the boat, the last ride on the boat, swimming lessons, Brownie meetings, school field trips, trips to McDonald's. Soccer practice, tennis practice, barbie cars, wagons, chore days, fireworks, movie nights in the den, going to the doctor for checkups. These are days when there wasn't a "party" or a banner adorned with congratulatory affirmations - they were just moments from our family's "life". Each day mattered - whether we knowingly blew it as parents, or felt as though we masterfully navigated a difficult situation. We all grew in the process.
Unlike the foxholes many of us have been in for years, waging a fierce parental battle for character, integrity, responsibility, etc. - the Graduations and Homecomings are "easy". Celebrations are fun, joy-filled moments where all should collectively honor and celebrate those who have demonstrated outstanding character, excellence, perseverance, heroism, achievement, etc. (Similarly, celebrating and supporting marriages, births, etc.) Showing up at an event of this nature is: (as with Geico) "so easy a Caveman (or woman) can do it!"
On the subject of celebrating our children's achievements....a bunny trail: while we may have been integral in the development of the person they are today - they have been born with a free will. The milestones and acknowledgments celebrated are theirs - and theirs alone. Sometimes, we as parents tend to "accept credit" for our adult children's positive outcomes. (I've been guilty of this)
Just as we shouldn't accept credit for the positive outcomes - we must resist owning their poor decisions. (guilty of this one too!) We raise our children into adults, "launching arrows into the world - not boomerangs" (Dennis Rainey). When they leave the nest, taking on adult roles - they are solely accountable for their decisions. Like the rest of us...they will reap as they have sown. (Resist the urge to get in God's way by rescuing them, thus enabling destructive patterns - another hard concept.)
For a few years, naiveté led to my thinking that the teens/early 20s were to be the EASIEST from a parental perspective. How wrong my thinking was on that! We have pictorial histories of each child - and as they continue on their individual journeys - DH and I will love, encourage, pray for and yes...we'll probably goof up and give "unsolicited advice" - it's a journey that we're all on. It is, however, much fun and tremendously encouraging to look back at the three little lives God temporarily entrusted to us - to see where our parenting began and to know that as imperfect parents, HE alone has filled in some of our gaps and blessed our family immensely. I look forward to continued snapshots....best when they aren't "posing" for the camera - but are actively doing life.
My "baby" is graduating tonight! I look forward to celebrating and honoring her - not just because she is graduating from high school, but for doing so with integrity, with excellence, and while exhibiting Godly character - being a light in a dark world.
Congratulations Britt! "Well done".
More to come on this general topic. Right now, it's time to ensure camera batteries are charged and ready for the final "last day of school, morning snapshot!"
Undoubtedly, I'm not the first to photo-document most every event (and many "non-events") in the lives of my children...but this tradition wasn't one that either my husband or I were exposed to prior to implementing it with our own family. It sounds a bit corny...but looking back over the years - it's fun to see the changing faces, the changing morning backdrops (from Firetrucks, to 101 Dalmations, to Sports themes, solids, plaids, and the final requested "more manly" bedding) The girls have ranged from Minnie Mouse and Tweety Bird to more sophisticated toile prints (and many in between!) The impending final photo in this 'series' has led to contemplation about the value of photographs.
We've all heard that a picture is worth a 1000 words... I firmly believe 1000 words is a conservative estimate. Quite truthfully, the subject matter of your photos likely reveals a lot more than one might initially consider - priorities and preferences become apparent. Your "favorites" are as public as your "viewing audience." While it's true that "all children are different and therefore must be treated differently" - that's no excuse for blatant favoritism. I will go to great lengths to ensure my children and grandchildren will all be made to feel loved and valued. It's ridiculously irresponsible and hurtful to have 100s of photos of one or more child on display - compared to 0-3 of others. "Different children/Different treatment" implies a different methods of communicating, interacting, etc. In no way, is devaluing one or more child acceptable. They'd all like to see the snapshots of themselves at grandma/grandpas, etc. ...to know that they were well thought of, loved, and cherished - a meaningful member of the family. Differences in personalities and circumstances don't negate value...poor behavior shouldn't warrant preferential treatment, these practices lead to serious dysfunction-based on tons of personal experience. (A matter near to my heart for as long as can be recalled.) Seriously, some would do well to reread the story of Joseph and his brothers. There are plenty of biblical warnings about playing favorites with children. Consider snapshots carefully.... just because no one brings an issue to your attention, don't assume a lack of harm.
Portraits are typically "planned"....and are oftentimes given as gifts to family members or enclosed with annual Christmas cards. Over the years, we have predetermined acceptable "color schemes", clothing styles, patterns, backdrops, etc. We've done this: in professional studios, on the beach, in our living room, backyard, parks, etc. The intent is always to put the very best image (pun intended) in front of the people we know. This is certainly not to discount the value of family portraits - I'm a huge fan. However, when I peruse the thousands of pictures we've taken of our family of five - "portraits" don't elicit emotional responses quite like candid snapshots do.
Yesterday, we were blessed to welcome my son back to the US after a seven month deployment to Afghanistan. Our immediate family had a total of six cameras covering his long-anticipated homecoming. We were not alone. There were many just like us - huddled together in anticipation of the buses' arrival, eagerly waiting/listening/watching for the first sign of the young men we have loved as a son, brother, fiancée, husband or father. Most of the multitude were family in every sense of the word - having done "life" together for as long as could be remembered. However, there was a population of "photo opp seekers". (More than just a few.)
It has become increasingly apparent that this seemingly superficial demographic thrives on showing up at major milestones of those they want to be "credited" or "associated" with. (My experience dates back decades - and has only been reinforced and amplified as I've seen it play out a second generation.)
People with this shallow, self-serving motivation may have captured some of the same images as those of us who have been family for the long haul - but that's not what ultimately matters. Unless you've been an active, involved, positive influencer in a growing child's life - you're not likely to have experienced, and thus retained, the precious "day to day" images. Those moments instrumental in the shaping of a child to an adult - not the resulting ceremonies and celebrations.
The family snapshots we hold very dear contain just about anything imaginable.."daddy pulling teeth", photos of homework sessions, parallel parking, makeovers, folding laundry, preparing family dinners together (menu to cleanup), building a pergola, mowing the lawn, hanging out in the house with friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, cousins, etc. The day we bought the boat, the day we sold the boat, the first ride on the boat, the last ride on the boat, swimming lessons, Brownie meetings, school field trips, trips to McDonald's. Soccer practice, tennis practice, barbie cars, wagons, chore days, fireworks, movie nights in the den, going to the doctor for checkups. These are days when there wasn't a "party" or a banner adorned with congratulatory affirmations - they were just moments from our family's "life". Each day mattered - whether we knowingly blew it as parents, or felt as though we masterfully navigated a difficult situation. We all grew in the process.
Unlike the foxholes many of us have been in for years, waging a fierce parental battle for character, integrity, responsibility, etc. - the Graduations and Homecomings are "easy". Celebrations are fun, joy-filled moments where all should collectively honor and celebrate those who have demonstrated outstanding character, excellence, perseverance, heroism, achievement, etc. (Similarly, celebrating and supporting marriages, births, etc.) Showing up at an event of this nature is: (as with Geico) "so easy a Caveman (or woman) can do it!"
On the subject of celebrating our children's achievements....a bunny trail: while we may have been integral in the development of the person they are today - they have been born with a free will. The milestones and acknowledgments celebrated are theirs - and theirs alone. Sometimes, we as parents tend to "accept credit" for our adult children's positive outcomes. (I've been guilty of this)
Just as we shouldn't accept credit for the positive outcomes - we must resist owning their poor decisions. (guilty of this one too!) We raise our children into adults, "launching arrows into the world - not boomerangs" (Dennis Rainey). When they leave the nest, taking on adult roles - they are solely accountable for their decisions. Like the rest of us...they will reap as they have sown. (Resist the urge to get in God's way by rescuing them, thus enabling destructive patterns - another hard concept.)
For a few years, naiveté led to my thinking that the teens/early 20s were to be the EASIEST from a parental perspective. How wrong my thinking was on that! We have pictorial histories of each child - and as they continue on their individual journeys - DH and I will love, encourage, pray for and yes...we'll probably goof up and give "unsolicited advice" - it's a journey that we're all on. It is, however, much fun and tremendously encouraging to look back at the three little lives God temporarily entrusted to us - to see where our parenting began and to know that as imperfect parents, HE alone has filled in some of our gaps and blessed our family immensely. I look forward to continued snapshots....best when they aren't "posing" for the camera - but are actively doing life.
My "baby" is graduating tonight! I look forward to celebrating and honoring her - not just because she is graduating from high school, but for doing so with integrity, with excellence, and while exhibiting Godly character - being a light in a dark world.
Congratulations Britt! "Well done".
More to come on this general topic. Right now, it's time to ensure camera batteries are charged and ready for the final "last day of school, morning snapshot!"
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Simple Woman's Daybook # 5
FOR TODAY...
Outside my window...I've enjoyed watching a bluejay fly in and out of the birdhouse - several times a day.
I can hear... the news is on, but barely audible.
I am thinking...the coming week will be one we'll always remember/My "Mom Pride" is at an all time high - can't wait to see Tyler step off the bus at LeJeune - can't wait to see Britt walk across the stage and accept her diploma - so looking forward to having Rach & Bryce with us (Love hearing his sweet little voice "non-stop" chatter!)
I am thankful... my children know I was there to help with homework K-12 (not just show up for graduation), Take care of them when they were sick (even the 3am cleanups), hold their hands while getting stitches, shots, etc., teach them about faith (not undermine and trivialize it), provide guard rails for the teen years (instead of encouraging lying, cheating, promiscuity, and general deviation from family values), that I will always have the memories of daily carpool, late night baseball games, girl scout camps, potty training, family vacations, field trips, room mom duties, tennis lessons, 10pm "outings" for Jane Austen books/movies/poster board, etc. (due the following morning), for the memories of college orientations, moving daughters in to dorms, late night talks about love and life, special birthday traditions, the opportunity to take my son to the Recruiter's office the rainy afternoon he left for Parris Island/the hugs we shared after boot camp graduation, the days, laughs, and hugs we all shared leading to deployment, the angel still sleeping downstairs - who in many ways - saved my life, chorus concerts, violin lessons, batting lessons, trips to Disney, to the beach, Six Flags, White Water, Stone Mountain, messy rooms, chicken pox, trick-or-treating, teaching them to drive, falling from trees, American Girl Dolls, the closeness enjoyed with all 3, the opportunity to comfort my oldest while in labor, the Wednesday "chore days", to see them fall in and out of love, mono, beanie babies, "pretty, pretty princess", "Guess Who", Four-Square in the street, the "time out chair", the struggles, the ups, the downs, the good days and the hard ones...they were all worth it. The words "Mom/Mommy/Momma" are a blessing to my soul, for they are out of love and not obligation. Being a mom has been the hardest and simultaneously most rewarding and enjoyable "job" I've ever held - one that I'd gladly do again. I'm forever THANKFUL for this lifelong journey....every aspect of it!
From the kitchen...still undecided - maybe tacos tonight.
I am wearing...gym shorts and a Marine Mom t-shirt.
I am creating... photo albums , scrapbooks...(always), rehearsal dinner place cards, graduation party invitations, a "bucket list" for the house, etc.
I am going... to a staff meeting in less than 2 hours (time to get moving!)
I am reading...many things. My reading stack consists of 5 books, several magazines and countless articles on spiritual matters, etc.
I am hoping...for an unhindered week of celebration with all my children - and hubby.
I am praying...that Britt will enjoy the coming week of graduation activity, that Tyler will easily and healthily transition into life back in the states, and that Bryce will do well on the 8 hour drive.
Around the house, it's time for me to start pulling Tyler's clothes from his bedroom, packing them for his first "home" of his own.
I am creating... photo albums , scrapbooks...(always), rehearsal dinner place cards, graduation party invitations, a "bucket list" for the house, etc.
I am going... to a staff meeting in less than 2 hours (time to get moving!)
I am reading...many things. My reading stack consists of 5 books, several magazines and countless articles on spiritual matters, etc.
I am hoping...for an unhindered week of celebration with all my children - and hubby.
I am praying...that Britt will enjoy the coming week of graduation activity, that Tyler will easily and healthily transition into life back in the states, and that Bryce will do well on the 8 hour drive.
Around the house, it's time for me to start pulling Tyler's clothes from his bedroom, packing them for his first "home" of his own.
One of my favorite things is...enjoying watching my third and final child leave the driveway each morning...waving to her until she looks back at me...not sure why I do it, but always have (they probably never realized that as I wave to them as they leave each morning, that I'm asking God to watch over them as they drive to school.)
A few plans for the rest of the week... car appointment this morning, new a/c installation in the house (just in time for 90 degree temps), B's final exams, preparation for R's visit home, T's homecoming at LeJeune, B's high school graduation, planning the graduation party, shopping for a dress for the wedding (again), oh yes, and cleaning house, doing laundry, etc. etc. etc.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing… this was taken of Britt & Creighton on Saturday - her senior prom...doesn't seem possible that she's this grown up!
To join in and participate with your own daybook, please check out the hostess site at http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/
WE
Thursday, May 6, 2010
The Simple Woman's Daybook #4
FOR TODAY...
Outside my window... it's a bright, sunny day and the back yard is really coming alive with color. The back yard is also one of my favorite places on Earth....all seasons.
I can hear... silence right now, aside from the tapping of the keyboard.
I am thinking...my list of "action items" for the next 2 weeks, will require very intentional planning - and lots of prayer!
I am thankful... Britt has a plan for next fall, for another early morning wake-up call from Afghanistan today, and an unexpected call in my office earlier this week....especially thankful that Tyler will soon be stateside. Looking forward to having all 3 of my children home, at the same time - it doesn't occur nearly as often as we'd all like.
From the kitchen...since I'm heading back to FBC shortly, and because no one is home this evening until after they've had dinner - NOTHING. (but, hey "no dishes")
I am wearing...white capris & "Roswell Day of Hope" tee-shirt. (As a staff, we went to the Roswell, National Day of Prayer Service, so many of us wore our tee shirts.)
I am creating... photo albums , scrapbooks...(always), rehearsal dinner place cards, graduation party invitations, a "bucket list" for the house, etc.
I am going... to Britt's "Prom Picture Party" on Saturday....can't wait to see her - she's a natural beauty. She's going to look absolutely gorgeous and way too grown up, but I'm excited for her.
I am reading...many things. My reading stack consists of 5 books, several magazines and countless articles on spiritual matters, etc.
I am hoping...for a burst of energy to get me through tonight/tomorrow. (Also hopeful of some windfall of time in the immediate future which will enable completion of several household/organizational projects.)
I am praying...for reality to come to light, for deceitful schemes to be exposed, and true repentance to occur, for eyes to be wide open, for protection of those most dear to me.
Around the house, we have a few projects I am hopeful of completing before graduation, homecoming & wedding events hosted here.
I am creating... photo albums , scrapbooks...(always), rehearsal dinner place cards, graduation party invitations, a "bucket list" for the house, etc.
I am going... to Britt's "Prom Picture Party" on Saturday....can't wait to see her - she's a natural beauty. She's going to look absolutely gorgeous and way too grown up, but I'm excited for her.
I am reading...many things. My reading stack consists of 5 books, several magazines and countless articles on spiritual matters, etc.
I am hoping...for a burst of energy to get me through tonight/tomorrow. (Also hopeful of some windfall of time in the immediate future which will enable completion of several household/organizational projects.)
I am praying...for reality to come to light, for deceitful schemes to be exposed, and true repentance to occur, for eyes to be wide open, for protection of those most dear to me.
Around the house, we have a few projects I am hopeful of completing before graduation, homecoming & wedding events hosted here.
One of my favorite things is...singing 80s music in the car and while cleaning the house.
A few plans for the rest of the week... ministry stuff tonight/tomorrow, prom hair and nail appointments, mailing graduation announcements, shopping for a dress for the wedding (again), oh yes, and cleaning house, doing laundry, etc. etc. etc.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing… this was taken a few weeks ago in Michigan....can't believe "my baby" is going to be over 800 miles from home in just a few short months. (We were checking out a restaurant near campus.) I had no concept of how quickly time escapes us...until now. We should embrace every moment of every day, strive to live in peace with everyone, ask God to show us the people and situations we should avoid, thank Him for the ones we don't (even the hard ones...they are there for a reason.) In all things, look for a reason to be grateful. T
To join in and participate with your own daybook, please check out the hostess site at http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/
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