This "wake-up" call occurred just a few weeks ago - but has served as a reminder that life is a vapor...and at the risk of sounding cliche', we should make the most of each day we have. There are no guarantees of a tomorrow, but so often we assume that we'll be around to what the American Medical Association determines as the "average life expectancy." In my case, that estimate is 80.7 years (less for black women, white men and fewer still are black men.) While much respect is warranted and their research is thorough and well-intended....the AMA is not the author of my life...nor anyone's.
My first encounter with the loss of a loved one was at the age of twenty - when my paternal grandfather died. It was devastating...two months later, my other grandfather died....less than two years later, my much loved paternal grandmother joined her husband in Heaven. Her loss stung badly - she comes to mind more often than one would expect two decades later. The first three losses I experienced in this lifetime were all grandparents. Not to sound harsh or insensitive, but there's something sort of "natural" about the order - albeit painful.
Death isn't always orderly. A quick review of the ten funerals attended in the last five or so years reveals the following:
- The average number of years on Earth: 37.2, far below the AMA's prediction.
- Three of the ten were murdered - clearly, no one plans for that.
- Two young men were killed in combat, no one can deny the risk involved when you send your son to war - but you cling to Psalm 91 and pray like crazy you'll see yours step off the bus at homecoming.
- One lost his life to a heart attack - very unexpectedly, and early.
- One young girl was in a car with her boyfriend on the way to a wedding rehearsal...a memorial service was far from thought.
- Three lost a battle to cancer...in all three cases, the battle was relatively short and two were very young.
- Only one of the ten actually lived the number of years the AMA predicts. Fortunately, he made the decision that led to his current residence in Heaven - only a few short years ago.
While there are countless people with more wisdom, there are a few things I've gotten a grasp on. Since life is so short - we cannot afford to waste the days. In my humble opinion, we should aspire to...
Work at loving fully and completely, striving to deepen relationships with those closest to us, rather than defaulting to a position of complacency and passivity. At the same time, resisting the temptation to "people please" - as I've seen in my life and in the lives of many around me - it leads to compromising of values, integrity and ultimately results in manipulation, pain, unnecessary angst, and oddly - sometimes alienation.
Invest wisely, becoming excellent stewards of the resources and blessings entrusted to us - not just money, but children, our physical body, time, talents, etc. Unfortunately, I've slacked off on this one with regard to my physical body and personal time...but am actively addressing those issues and believe they are key to living each day to the fullest! (Tough to grasp: REST.)
Serve others - It's true that the best way you can feel better about your 'stuff' is to help someone else out with 'theirs'. We're called to serve 'the least of these' and that can take on many forms....for some it's just offering a listening ear, for others it's a contribution of "wisely stewarded money, time and or talents." The opportunities are all around us - we just have to have eyes wide open, and sensitive hearts.
Deal with the toxic people in your life.... God doesn't say we have to remain in unhealthy, evil, manipulative relationships - regardless of bloodline or connection. It finally became clear, "not everyone will like me....and that's OKAY!" Truth be told, I'm not a "hater" but there are a handful of people I'm not particularly drawn to. I'd still help them (and have) in a crisis and would never wish harm upon them. Will we be hanging out as BFFs? nope. Probably not.
Own, embrace and give freely, forgiveness (not the same as restoration...you cannot restore a relationship with an unwilling participant - but you can forgive them even if they choose bitterness, resentment, and hatred.) I've been slandered in print and verbally, threats have come my way. Sadly - I've learned there are people I trusted that weren't trustworthy, there are people God has placed in my life who are easily sold out and who will sacrifice for mere financial gain....and I mean "mere". Forgiveness has freed me to laugh at some of the childlike antics rather than to retaliate or combust. (By the way, unforgiving people seem to have a harshness about them that's quite unbecoming...it hardens them on the inside and out and ages them beyond their years. It's actually sad.)
Make it your goal to laugh more - I believe God takes delight in our laughter - and sometimes my focus is such that I fail to see the humor abounding in my daily life. (Working on it!) It feels great to laugh - and an aspect of our purpose is indeed to enjoy God's creation. Look around - there's plenty to enjoy, regardless of circumstances! Monty Watson, a former pastor and still a friend, shared that "laughing more" was his New Year's Resolution a few years ago and I have to say - it was inspiring. (So over the "lose weight/save money bit!")
While making the above points priorities, we should be growing in wisdom - but we must first actively pursue it. If you're not already regularly reading scripture, Proverbs is a great place to start - it's the book of Wisdom, containing 31 Chapters - so read one chapter a day for a month!
Last weekend, along with several MHS classmates, we said goodbye to a friend. It was a bittersweet memorial service - sad because, as a single mom, she left behind a young daughter; sweet, because we all left with assurance she is now cancer-free and in Heaven for eternity. The officiating pastor said something clever, "We are all terminally ill." The moment we are born, we are moving toward our final breath. I simply want to make the most of the time He's allowing me to be here. Do you? While the list is probably considerably longer, and would manifest differently in each of our lives - I'd love to hear my friends thoughts on how we can make the most of each day we have. I don't want to get before my maker and reflect on a life barely memorable because I was "asleep at the wheel". Life is too short - and I know so many people who would agree that if given the opportunity to do it over, they would have made some very intentional changes.
Every life tells a story...and only God knows how it will end. How will the current chapter read? (Because of our free will - we get to help with the illustrations.)
T.
{ Quotes }
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." (Abraham Lincoln)
"God will one day hold us accountable for all the things He created for us to enjoy, but we refused to do so." (Rabbanic saying)
"Never lose an opportunity for seeing anything that is beautiful; For beauty is God's handwriting--a wayside sacrament. Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every fair flower, And thank God for it as a cup of His blessing." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
