Before hitting “publish”
I’ve decided to add this “preliminary note”: To
those friends with imperfect criminal background checks - you are in no way being condemned in the “dinner
scenario” below…to be completely forthcoming, none of my "ex-con friends" are guilty
of the crimes referenced. If you know
me well at all – you know I’m pretty real, sometimes perceived as too honest, sometimes
a bit controversial (I no longer care), and you know that if we are friends –
I’ve got your back. I’m compassionate, feel deeply, cry easily, and am a loving
loyal friend. You also know that if you
turn on me, hurting me or anyone else I love – I can and will forgive you, but
there’s not much room these days for toxic or hurtful relationships… life is
too short and I've spent far too much of it enmeshed in unhealthy relationships of all kinds.)
We can break bread, share
a bottle of wine, and enjoy healthy debate, appreciating each other’s perspectives
and finding laughter and optimally, increased compassion in the process. Mindsets on “hot topics” may change after appropriate,
friendly discourse. Then again, mindsets may remain unaltered. Differing positions shouldn't automatically
lead to loss of respect and affinity. How boring life would be if we were all
clones. (Yet another blogpost for
another day.) _____________________________________________________________________
2015 has been a year full of controversial headlines, and I’ve gotten caught in the crossfire expressing and defending personal convictions and sometimes taking a stand for friends on highly debated matters like the Confederate Flag, Same Sex Marriage, gun rights, and yes - my recent up close adventure with matters surrounding divorce. Why stop now? Some of my favorite people on Earth are speaking loudly - from both sides of the fence. Truthfully, I'm surprised by some - but wonder if the situation is looked at through a more personal grid, would there still be such an argument?
Following are a few background points that largely shape my thinking… on these and most matters:
I am:
...first and foremost - an imperfect human. I don't "like" being wrong - but admittedly, it happens. (There - I said it, my children SHOULD be thrilled!)
...first and foremost - an imperfect human. I don't "like" being wrong - but admittedly, it happens. (There - I said it, my children SHOULD be thrilled!)
… a Christian, a mother of three adult children that I had
the immeasurable privilege and responsibility of raising; one of my three is a United States Marine – twice
deployed, and currently serving in DC.
….a patriot – I love this country and count it a great blessing that of all the places I could’ve been born – I was born here. My life has not been an easy one, but some of my worst days pale in comparison to the best days seen by people in other regions of the world.
….a patriot – I love this country and count it a great blessing that of all the places I could’ve been born – I was born here. My life has not been an easy one, but some of my worst days pale in comparison to the best days seen by people in other regions of the world.
I am:
...fortunate to personally have known a few Muslims as “friends.” Two summers ago I met a dear young lady in Germany, who is by far
the kindest soul I met in Europe – she happened to be a Muslim. That didn’t stop us from enjoying meals, Turkish tea, laughs, and great meaningful conversation.
We’ve stayed in touch – and she would be a welcome guest in my home
today. Before her, a
gentleman working on a construction project at my house just happened to also
be Muslim. He moved from contractor to
friend when he and his wife accepted my invitation to attend church and we got
to know each other personally. He was a gentle giant, and over time, opened his
heart to the teachings of the Bible. Finally,
one of the most significant people in my life as a teenager was Dr. Hasan – a
surgeon key to my still amazingly miraculous recovery from a horrific
accident. He was definitely one of the most compassionate, likable, humorous - and of course, competent doctors I've been cared for. After a many years-long doctor/patient
relationship, I have nothing but respect and gratitude for this man. My life is absolutely better today because he
was a crucial co-leader of my medical team – and a great encourager throughout
the long road to recovery. (He also let me pick the radio station in the
operating room on days I was having outpatient procedures….BONUS!) So, yes – a couple of Muslim friends have intersected and impacted this crazy life journey for the better. This is my firsthand experience.
…of the belief that all Muslims are definitely NOT evil, and the few I’ve known
personally are completely the opposite.
However, we are waking up daily to the sad reality that horrific,
malevolent extremists, often broadly and misleadingly identified as
“Muslims” - are actively targeting and terrorizing people around the globe
. (“Muslim”
does not equal terrorist/Muslims belonging to ISIS? indeed a threat.)
…NOT of the belief that all Christians are generally good, I’ll go ahead and throw that out there. My perspective is balanced - and it's been weathered by many trials, and years in full time ministry. There are some Christians i know that would NOT be welcome in my home. It’s also a fact that we were all born with a sinful nature, and that the very reason we need a redeemer is that not one of us is capable of living out a perfect life… Some would like you to believe otherwise. So, I don’t blindly ascribe loyalty or trust to those who profess my same faith, and in the same manner, I will not assign blame to an entire religion. (Another blog post for another day – maybe a month’s worth.)
…NOT of the belief that all Christians are generally good, I’ll go ahead and throw that out there. My perspective is balanced - and it's been weathered by many trials, and years in full time ministry. There are some Christians i know that would NOT be welcome in my home. It’s also a fact that we were all born with a sinful nature, and that the very reason we need a redeemer is that not one of us is capable of living out a perfect life… Some would like you to believe otherwise. So, I don’t blindly ascribe loyalty or trust to those who profess my same faith, and in the same manner, I will not assign blame to an entire religion. (Another blog post for another day – maybe a month’s worth.)
So, who might be invited to dinner? Muslim friends are welcome in my home. My Christian, Jewish, Hindu and Atheist friends are welcome... as are my straight, gay, bisexual, rich, poor,
military, civilian, law enforcement, firefighter, ex-cons, pastors, tattoo
artists, bartenders, bikers, Northern, Southern, 3 piece suit or camo wearing, drinking, and non-drinking, black, white,
Indian, FRIENDS. If I call you friend, it means I know you - AND you are trusted in my home...in spite of cultural or religious "differences of opinion." Not only would it be comfortable, it would be
enjoyable to have you gathered around my table for a meal and conversation. If
you’re at my table, you’re not a perceived threat to my children, pets, home –
or me. As a protective mom of three kids, and to the best of my ability, I worked hard to maintain a home environment that was a place of peace, and stability for my children. For you to be at the dining room table, you would have essentially been "vetted" over time. What kind of mom would I be if I invited
a group over with heavily rumored ties to violent gangs? (Could be true/Could not be true?) Do I flippantly dismiss those statements not
doing any research of my own? Do I extend invitations knowing that there was no way for me to properly ascertain the character of the person i'm considering? Do I disregard common sense measures because of a short window of time between the invitation and actual dinner party? What if I invited a group of recently released pedophiles to dinner and game night "in the spirit of Christian hospitality" - having total access to my kids, my home and me - being foolishly vulnerable and without possessing real knowledge of them or their individual circumstances, heart change, or history of “incident free living”? What if I welcomed them in to my house as an act of hospitable good will, made them comfortable, fed them, clothed them and gave them the keys to my house? What if I then smiled and waved to my barely known house guests as I kissed my kids goodbye and walked out the front door for a weekend trip? The house guests may be sincerely grateful for an easy “second chance” – thankful that I blindly trusted them with those I love most, the innocent children that God entrusted to my care. Conversely, I could walk out my door after welcoming this group “in God’s name” – and one or more may turn on me and my family bringing unspeakable harm. That blame would lie largely on me for not being my kids' protector. As a parent, my loyalty is first to my own family. I’m all about humanitarian effort, but not at a risk of harm or loss to those in my loving charge.
My question is this: “How
can we blindly let refugees infiltrate our borders – NOT KNOWING if they are a threat? Clearly, not all refugees
are evil – and I hate that there are innocent people being negatively profiled by the reputation and published planned attacks of some of their not-so-innocent family
members, and social connections.
As a Christian/American/Mom, I firmly believe “family” is
our first priority and our most significant mission field… Many are speaking of our country’s
Christian foundation as justification for irresponsibly ushering potential
danger into our borders. The funny thing is, I can’t
think of anyone I actually know – that would willingly put the family they love and are responsible for at potential great risk. We ought to be providing security
for our own families first and foremost. To infiltrate our homes with unnecessary, potentially great threat does not seem prudent…. Would our president blindly
welcome a group of refugees into the White House to hang out at dinner and
spend time alone with his girls as he retreats to another wing? OF
COURSE NOT! Would you invite a group of 10-20 strangers in to your home, to basically share life with you and your family with no limitations, and full access to all that is yours? Probably not. What if you had heard repeatedly of threats against your family by this same group of people? Would you give them a wal-mart gift card, feed them, strengthen and equip them to carry out their evil mission?
At the risk of sounding harsh and uncaring, I've always been a very protective "mama bear" - and would not
let anyone come into MY HOME, giving them keys, security codes, and all access to
my house and family, without first knowing who they truly are and what motivates them
to be here. This seems all too simple. (But as I indicated, I'm capable of being wrong and therefore welcome healthy dialogue.)
In my humble opinion, our government seems like an irresponsible parent - more concerned with winning a popularity contest with people "outside of the family," than stepping up to the role of leader and protector of our great nation.
I'm really perplexed. Am I missing something? Why are we still having this conversation?
In my humble opinion, our government seems like an irresponsible parent - more concerned with winning a popularity contest with people "outside of the family," than stepping up to the role of leader and protector of our great nation.
I'm really perplexed. Am I missing something? Why are we still having this conversation?
t.
If you’ve not read what Ben Carson had to say
on the matter, check this out:
But if anyone does not provide for his
relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith
and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Tim 5:8 ESV)
