"Blood"

Tragedy marked the beginning of the summer I turned 15.  I was walking along the road, following all Pedestrian laws.  Out of nowhere – a car struck me from behind and catapulted me 150 feet. My body landed against a tree, dangerously near death. Injuries occurred literally from head to toe.  The worst wounds involved my head, right arm and back.  Traumatic blood loss led to shock and the expectation that this would be my last day on earth.  At the hospital, my family said their goodbyes.  Obviously, that didn’t turn out to be my last day on Earth – but it came close and serves as an ever present reminder that we don’t know when our last day will come. 

After surviving those first critical hours, attention was directed to the mangled mess that was my body.  My head was sliced wide open necessitating a partial crew-cut.  My right eye was bloody and swollen.  Horrid lacerations and significant bruising existed all over. X-rays revealed a broken back, and my parents were told I’d never walk again.  My knees and ankles were injured – in fact there was no area of my body that completely escaped harm.  The most grotesque disfigurement of all was to my right arm. 

The collision between the car and my body commenced an airborne thrashing compounded by a street sign, a giant wooden cable spool and finally, a tree. My arm was twisted and crushed in unimaginable ways.  The bone between the shoulder and elbow was shattered.  Jagged pieces penetrated the skin in a zigzagged pattern, practically amputating just above the elbow. My arm was a bloody mess – and the initial plan was simply to complete the process of amputation.  Gratefully, another doctor was called in and he began a process that took years, multiple casts, hours of surgery and an incredible amount of physical therapy.  (Gratefully, I say – because I still have a right arm and 95% + range of motion.)

Surgery lasted over 5 hours.  Since damage was extensive and much of the original humerus remained at the accident scene, bone from my right hip was grafted into the arm and encased by 4” of titanium. The recovery was long – but the doctor assured me that it was IMPOSSIBLE for the right humerus to be broken again – IMPOSSIBLE. The ultimate and irreversible healing of my ugly, mangled arm amazingly parallels another irreversible healing in me. 

Like my arm, I was once a huge mess - mangled, and badly wounded through years of abuse and rejection.  That time in life was further complicated by consequences to my poor choices.   There was a hole in my heart that I tried to fill with the things of this world, but nothing ever satisfied – and those failed attempts left me increasingly despondent.  There were times that I simply wanted to die – to leave this world.  That embarrasses me now, because I am so grateful for each day….even the difficult ones.

Not growing up in the church, I was exposed to Jesus through various friends and extended family.  The summer I turned 12, I accepted Jesus as my Savior.  Like my right arm would later serve to illustrate – the promise of an eternity in Heaven could not be broken.  My salvation was sealed at the moment of that decision.   However, it wasn’t until years later that I was able to know the joy and peace that comes from fully surrendering one’s life to Jesus Christ.   While I knew beyond any doubt that I was a Christian, the concept of daily dying to self and living for Him remained foreign. Unfortunately too, the ways of the world still proved enticing. 

My walk with Jesus had been on my terms – when convenient.  In my early 20s and pregnant with a daughter – I came face to face with my need for His guidance and protection more than ever.  Being fearful of repeating destructive patterns, and having no idea what a Godly mother looked like – I pressed into Him like never before.  Jesus heard my heartfelt, though not eloquent prayers.  Those prayers were and continue to be answered in ways bigger and better than I could have imagined.  Finally, I “got it” – my relationship with Jesus Christ wasn’t ONLY about a future in Heaven.  My relationship with my Lord and Savior is a daily surrender.

Years after the accident, I discovered a medical arm band from the hospital – with my name, dates, etc. – and the words:  Blood Recipient.  Somehow, I’d missed the fact that a random person’s blood donation had spared my life. Because of that selfless gift, I was given additional time on Earth, more opportunity to “get things right” and further occasion to share the love of Jesus with others. This serves as another AMAZING illustration: As the life-giving liquid that courses through our veins, blood symbolizes life.  In the Bible, the blood of Jesus serves as a symbol not of His death, but of His life poured out for us. 

Consider this:  I’ll never know the identity of the person whose blood donation saved my life.  However, I know the name of the One whose blood has reconciled me to God and has sealed my future in Heaven forever.  His name is Jesus.  He walks with me.  He comforts and protects me.  He hears and answers my prayers.  He leads me and is the model for how I am to love others.  He knows me intimately and He wants me to know Him the same way.

It’s humbling that a total stranger gave me the gift of his/her blood.  However, it is AMAZING and awe-inspiring that Jesus, son of God shed His blood for me.  He knows EVERYTHING about me – and it’s not all pretty, yet He loves me.  There is power in His blood.  In His blood I found healing; eradication of my sin; forgiveness and hope for all eternity. The blood of Jesus has the power to change the inner man… I am living proof.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

 

~  ~  ~

It’s not by chance that you are learning my story.  There is no such thing as coincidence or luck. Have you received a divine blood transfusion?  Are YOU ready?

“Morality may keep you out of jail, but it takes the blood of Jesus Christ to keep you out of Hell.” (Charles Spurgeon)

 

The Fragrance of Cologne

It’s a well-known fact that sensory responses trigger recall.  The most prevalent catalysts for me are smells.  There are a few random, yet distinct scents that remind me of childhood.  In the most peculiar way, the faint hint of cigarette or pipe smoke; or the aroma of fresh baked cookies takes me back to my favorite place as a child - my grandparents’ home in Ohio. In contrast, my Grandparents’ home in North Carolina had an aroma comparable to The Cracker Barrel. The wood stove in the family room marked the air distinctly year-round. Of course, any time I stayed at their house, the smell of coffee, bacon & made-from-scratch biscuits met me at (early) morning. These are all great memories! 

There are also odors that bring to mind less-than-favorable recollections.  For reasons I’ll not elaborate, I simply detest cinnamon.  (How ironic since it’s one of the more popular candle/air freshening scents year-round, but especially at Christmas!) Our noses get little credit, yet they have the amazing capacity to bring to mind people, places and events from our emotional and experiential archives. 

As a teenager - I was an ardent fan of Giorgio. Nowadays - I'm strictly a Vera Wang girl. Hopefully, if anyone has come to associate "Vera" with my physical presence, it will be a positive connection - if at all reminiscent of me in the future.  While commercial fragrances may seem trivial - as Christians, we don the eternally life changing, sweet aroma of Christ. I hope and pray that those who encounter and subsequently remember me - will associate the memory with that of  a follower of Jesus: A memory marked by supernatural peace on display - especially in the midst of storms;   of unconditional  love - for all people; of unusual  generosity; transparent authenticity,  and beauty beyond what human eyes can behold.  I pray it will never be recollections of hypocrisy, hatred or haughtiness - what an unimaginable disgrace to the name of Jesus!

 This summer, I have been given the opportunity to act as a "Perfumer" – dispensing the "sweet aroma of Christ" in Cologne, Germany.  How fitting the name of this city!  Our team is one of six, called  to influence the "fragrance" of this city through street evangelism, discipleship, church planting and by supporting the ministry efforts of missionary families already on the ground.

 

Cologne, not unlike the US, has been marred by the stench of greed, lust and hatred.  Vastly different though - Cologne has a Christian population of less than 1%, with a growing Islamic population.  The people of Cologne are in dire need of a new fragrance....one that will linger pleasantly, drawing others toward truth, freedom and eternal salvation.

This will be my second mission trip overseas and I could not be more excited! Often, I hear from family and friends that they don't "get" the need for overseas travel when there are so many physical, financial and spiritual needs right here at home. If you are of like mind - I can see how you might think similarly, especially, if unfamiliar with the implications of Acts 1:8:

 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

Fellowship takes Biblical mandates very seriously.  We are a church extensively involved in our local community and with our church family (our Jerusalem).  We are actively engaged in ministering to the Metro and Downtown areas of Atlanta (our Judea) – and throughout the USA (our Samaria.) In recent weeks alone - I've been personally involved in serving   over 1100 of the under-resourced in our local community through "Roswell Day of Hope.” The joyful privilege of ministering to local widows on multiple occasions has been one I’ve come to embrace.  Lastly, on Mother’s Day weekend, for the first time I went behind prison walls to share the hope of Christ with incarcerated women in Georgia’s largest all-female correctional facility.  

Acts 1:8 does not stipulate that each person must travel “to the ends of the earth”.  However, as members of the Body of Christ, we are called to participate in sharing the gospel with the entire world in some way.  You have an opportunity to do so through financial support and most importantly through your prayer coverage.  Please join us in taking the transforming hope of Jesus Christ abroad!  Our team of 6 must quickly raise approximately $18,000 to cover the costs of flights, lodging, food and supplies.  Would you please consider supporting us with a one-time financial gift?  You may contribute financially as the Lord enables you, in one of two ways:

 1.       Via paypal:  http://fellowshiproswell.org/about/generosity/online-giving/   (designate Cologne 6/Tawnda)

2.       Send a check, payable to Fellowship Bible Church,  to:

     

Fellowship Bible Church

ATTN: Cologne 6/Tawnda

480 West Crossville Road

Roswell GA 30075

 

(Fellowship will send an end of year statement for tax purposes)

 If you would like to receive team updates leading up to our July 19^th departure, as well as daily updates during our time in Cologne, please indicate so in the comment section.  (You can submit your email address for team updates to:  t@fellowshiproswell.org)

Thank you for prayerfully considering coming alongside of Team 6 as we embark on this God-Sized adventure!  Your support through prayer, finances or both – is a tremendous blessing and an encouragement!  

Grace and Peace,

Tawnda 

 

 ^“ For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing” (2 Corinthians 2:15)

 “And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:2)

"Turbulence"

For a few years now, I've been dealing with a deeply personal, frightening "storm" in my own life.  One that has rocked my world and causes me to feel like I'm heading for a crash landing.  Not good.  Lately, it's felt like the storm will not subside - I feel like Dorothy in the midst of a tornado, spiraling uncontrollably and questioning where or when I'll experience landfall.  Scary.  Out of control.  Real.  Private. Personal. When people ask how they may pray for me, lately I've just shared "an unspoken request."  This last week, I devoted a considerable amount of time praying, seeking direction, wanting to do what is right and desperately desiring to learn the lessons God has for me in the midst of all this "life turbulence".

Last night's flight proved interesting on many levels.  Meteorologists made national predictions that yesterday's storm system would be one of the most intensive of the spring.  Not surprising, flights were cancelled into and out of Atlanta and our scheduled departure (last flight out of Detroit) was "iffy" at best.  We made it to the airport early, and were able to get on an earlier, alternate flight on standby.  Even that flight was delayed because of "paperwork" and weather in both Detroit and Atlanta.  Being standby, my family was separated, taking whatever seats remained after confirmed passengers boarded. It was a turbulent flight - and typically, turbulent flights and I don't do well together.  But this flight was different.

Sitting next to me was a young lady, probably 18 years old or so.  She was quiet and sat reading for awhile.  There came a point when she tapped my arm and said, "Excuse me, I know this may sound strange to you,  but God has given me a word for you.  It seems you have been hurting for awhile now and He wants you to know you're not alone and that when you weep, He weeps.  He cares deeply for you and for what is causing you pain."   Then she asked if she could pray for me - of course, I welcomed her prayer.  Wow.  

Although, some would (and did) doubt  - I have full confidence that God spoke to me, through her.  She couldn't have known my pain, she knew nothing about me.  She didn't know my "religious affiliation" yet this young girl was obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit.  Wow.

A bit later I noticed she was writing - I assumed journaling.  But, then she ripped 2 pages from her small notebook and handed them to me. "You are dearly loved by God.  He sees the desires of your heart.  He laughs when you laugh, cries when you cry, and when judgement or harsh words are spoken into your life, He weeps.  He will help and heal your pain.  He greatly desires to heal your heart."  Again, WOW.  These words were the perfect salve for my gaping wound.

My sweet, young friend, "Kristin" also reached out to another person - saying much as she said to me, "God has given me a Word for you." - This other gentleman put up his hand like a traffic cop issuing a "Stop command" and said, "I appreciate your concern, but no thanks."    What did he miss I wonder?  Isn't that a picture of how we as fallen individuals will respond to God's promptings, "no thanks God - I'll come to you when I decide it's necessary."    What do we miss in those moments?

I consider my random seating assignment last night - anything but random.  It was just where I needed to be!  Thank you God for your Word, for your promises, and  for the obedient young lady sitting next to me.

T

PS - Overcome with emotion, tears streamed down my face.  Keep in mind, this was a rough flight, we were in turbulence and while the oxygen masks never descended - it was the worst turbulence I've ever experienced in the air.  As the tears streamed, someone near me assumed the tears were related to my fear - because he said, "Don't worry - I can see the ground.  We're gonna be okay."    Me: I'm choosing to believe that was a little bonus word from God.  : )

Britts Brazil Team Update

We’ve been monitoring news out of Rio de Janeiro since morning…. It’s been an emotional, prayer-filled day! Thankfully, we know from the blog that the team was able to get to the hotel in Rio tonight.
 As of this morning (Wed), they had completed 21 ministry meetings in only 3 days – and of course, there was no way to foresee the challenges awaiting them after leaving Campinas. (Google “landslides in Brazil” for the latest updates)

As Brittany and her teammates come to mind, please say a quick prayer for them, pray for:

 Discernment for the team as they determine how to adjust itineraries and to act as “the Hands and Feet of Christ” to a hurting community.

 Protection – physical and emotional (pray against further landslides and flooding!)

 Team unity - especially, as they face unknown, potentially challenging circumstances.

 Supernatural strength and endurance as they finish strong over the next few days.

 Health & Healing – especially for those who have been dealing with stomach issues.

 Life change/Growth – for the people of Rio, for the 14 team members, and for those of us at home.


There is no doubt that God has been preparing the hearts of the locals – they are desperate and will surely be open to hearing the hope available to them through Christ. God has also been preparing everyone involved. Pray that a deeper faith, and powerful testimony will be written on the hearts and lives of Britt and the others, as they see God’s hand move in miraculous ways. As we learned on her prior trip to Brazil – He doesn’t just work in the hearts and lives of those in distant lands. He works in unexpected ways in those of us at home. Nothing is wasted in God’s economy. I sat at my desk this afternoon and wrestled with the reality of having two of my children in harm’s way. It’s a helpless feeling….and I’m prone to worry….but between waves of anxiety and tears, I kept coming back to The Faithfulness of God. “Remembering” all that He has done and realizing that the floods and landslides are all a part of a greater design – one in which He will be glorified in a way that man cannot orchestrate. This song has been playing in my mind all day…. If you have a minute, listen to the words – maybe it will minister to you in the way it has to me, in the midst of whatever circumstances you’re wrestling with:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDOsDs95ugA&feature=PlayList&p=E91AECAD771629D8&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=35


Team Leaders, Keith and Sara , have been diligent at updating the team blog: : http://goandserve.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/safe-in-rio/

Your prayers and supportive words mean so much to all of us! Don’t stop now….Greater things are still to be done!

"Dear Blake"

It's hard to comprehend that a year has passed since you came into this world and simultaneously, entered our hearts and home. 

I must confess, having known your "mother" her entire life, there was an expectation that you would have either a horn or a third eye protruding from your forehead...but instead, you were one of the absolute most beautiful babies I've ever seen.  You also came into this world with a sweet, sweet disposition. 

While the months that you were an integral part of our lives were only a few - you left a lasting impression on our hearts.  Few days go by that someone doesn't ask about you....fewer days go by that you don't cross my mind. 

Thanks for bringing back the joy of 3 am feedings - I loved having someone else awake with me (ironically, it's about 3:30am right now.)  Thanks for the sweet little smiles and giggles.  It was pure joy having you with us at home and even at my office.  You were surrounded by many loving people those first few months, even spending your first Easter and Mother's Day here with us.  (We all were thinking that you and Bryce would grow to be "great friends" as well as cousins - maybe one day.)

While it's hard to understand the entire situation, a lot of good came from having you in our lives.  Some day, we'll be reacquainted and when the time is right, we can share how God did some incredible things in all of our lives through you.  In the meantime, I pray for your physical and emotional protection and for peace in the midst of what is likely chaos.  Your circumstances are not ideal, but God holds you in the palm of His hand and He loves you so!

We miss you.  We love you.  Happy 1st Birthday "Little Man".

Love,
Aunt Tawnda

Irrelevance of Biology

In December of 1990, when I learned that the miracle of a new life was growing inside my womb, I was overcome with excitement! That excitement was then tainted with angst – a fear of repeating a horrible cycle of neglect and abuse. The thought of impending motherhood drove me to praying “for real” – for the first time in my life. At night, I would lie in bed, with my hands over my abdomen and quietly, but passionately plead with God for a myriad of outcomes. I had not been educated on ‘how to pray’, in fact – I had very little “Christian education” at that point. My requests were made known for a baby girl, then more specifically, a “healthy baby girl”…then a somewhat guilty response after awhile, “Okay God. I’m sorry I specified girl…please forgive me for being so picky. Just give me a healthy baby.” God was asked for a child who would grow up and be a “good Christian” when being a “good Christian” wasn’t even clear to me. Requests were raised for a child who would grow up and be the kind of kid I wished that I had been. Increasingly frequent, high priority requests were submitted...requests that my child NEVER live a day on this earth without being secure in the fact that he/she was greatly loved.

Desperately longing to be the very thing I felt robbed of, I begged God to make me a good mom. Ridiculously, and it’s almost with embarassment that this is admitted now: I prayed some times for a little girl who would look and act much like me, but with blue eyes. In retrospect, it’s easy to ascertain the shallow depth of my prayers. “Blue eyes?” How important was that – really? However, these prayers were with a pure heart at the time – and a longing to be a Godly mom to a precious child that for some incomprehensible reason, God was entrusting to ME, of all people!

Fast forward 18-19 years: I know a lot more. But, with the knowledge obtained,it seems to me some of those prayers in my early 20s were pleasing to His ears. They were innocent “conversations with my Heavenly Father”. In my naievete, looking back – this was indeed the absolute beginning of a closer walk with Him. Have I been close to perfect since? Regrettably, no – not even in the ballpark. I am a follower of Jesus….and a work in progress.

This is probably longer than a blog posting should be – but I cannot close here. The pregnancy I referenced above was my only pregnancy and it led to the birth of my daughter Britt. (nicknamed my "Angel”…perhaps I’ll explain that some other time.) Ironically, she is my youngest child. The incredible blessing of raising three children with my husband has been an incredible gift from God. There was a time when I was angry with God because I was not the recipient of maternal love in my youth – but now I see that as preparation for the task HE had before me. The relationships shared with all of my ‘cherubs’ exceeds the biological connection experienced with my own “egg donor” 10,000 times. My children heard me say with integrity and deep personal conviction that "biology isn't everything." The question from me to them over the years has been repeatedly, “Do you know every day of your life how much I love you”? Every time the answer has been a resounding ‘yes’. Do they really comprehend the depths of my love for them? Probably not - but they comprehend that they are loved. Wanted. Cherished. What could be more meaningful as a Mom, than knowing your kids are secure in your love for them…in spite of being the disciplinarian, task master, driving instructor, tutor, medic, and guard rails for their youth?

Many people in my life have either been adopted or have adopted. There are women and men that I know who dearly love and cherish their children with the kind of love that only a mom or dad can offer, however, they were not present at the birth. I am one of those women and feel PASSIONATELY that shared DNA is highly over-rated. This is not to diminish those blood relations that have manifested into full-fledged family in every sense of the word. But I simply want the world (and some close minded indivduals) to know that you don’t have to carry a child to love him/her with all your heart. God blessed me with both kinds of kids…if given the chance, I'd not change a thing. I am blessed.

More next time…. I could write a novel on this topic. By the way, while my youngest was on a mission trip to Brazil last spring, the Holy Spirit brought to mind some of those pre-natal prayers...and He showed me that He answered them - quite favorably. (She even has blue eyes!) Perhaps that was to help build my faith....and perhaps even the faith of others. He's like that "ya know?"