Simple Pleasures… Plain & Simple, in Black & White...and in bright blue (6 of 29)

Saturdays are typically packed with fun social activities…but given this nasty cold, not this one.  This has been a day spent in intermittent slumber, watching countless movies, lots of meds, vitamins, and with a steady aroma of eucalyptus, rosemary and peppermint in the air.  (The good news? I was often able to actually smell those wonderful scents!)

At some point during the day, I wrapped up in a warm blanket and sat on my deck for a bit to breathe some fresh air.  My deck is one of the features that drew me to this house.  The deck makes me forget that I live in the busy city of Roswell with my neighborhood entrance on an 8 lane road.  Sitting here it feels as though I’m living in a remote area of Georgia. 

Fortunately, for me (and my neighbors), the deck is very private with a row of evergreens separating me from the row of houses behind.  With my deck flanked by these beautiful trees, lying in the sun is not so intimidating… and sitting outside in my robe with a cup of coffee or tea is quite comfortable, even in the Georgia winter. 

Not only do the trees create a visual barrier, but a noise buffer as well.  Because of where my house is positioned in the neighborhood and the benefits from the Evergreens, I can sit quietly – often enjoying nature’s choreography.  (Countless birds sing and dance all around.)  This private little respite facilitates some serious thinking, sketching, reading, and writing all the while causing me to forget that I live in the burbs.  It’s a tranquil setting – and in the (almost) year I’ve lived here, I don’t know that there has been a single day when I’ve not sat outside for a bit.  Nature speaks to me in ways it didn’t before…it’s calming yet simultaneously, nature also refreshes my soul and ignites my mind.

No filter - a breathtaking, untouched sky

On this particular February day, while getting fresh air, I was struck by the vibrant blue sky.  It was gorgeous.  The “blue” reminded me of September 11^th.  The recollection of the crystal clear, blue sky that morning before all Hell literally broke loose - has never left me.  In the strangest of ways, I’m glad.  Too easily we forget the watershed moments in our life’s story…. 9/11 was significant to every American. (This could be another entire post on a different day.)

For now, in this moment - I’m grateful for the reminder of that fateful day… for the lives lost in the attacks were not lost in vain.  Countless first responders sacrificed their lives for the benefit of others… and those men and women shall not be forgotten.  My own children were profoundly impacted by the events of that day – with one direct result being my son’s current career in the USMC.  

Why would we want to forget the way our country came together in the days that followed that historic Tuesday morning?  With all the mudslinging currently taking place leading up to the election, it’s good to remember that Democrats and Republicans united for a greater good.  We were literally "United States".  I pray it won’t take another 9/11 to get everyone united once again.

No filter - just a bright blue, untouched sky....and the
trees that gracefully provide a visual barrier between
 me and neighbors on the street behind my house....

Back to the here and now after my mind wandered a bit - the clear blue, beautiful skies are a reminder to never take a moment for granted…as in the case of September 11th, we never know what the next breath holds.  We don’t know who will be next to us, sharing life with us, making us laugh or making us cry.  Embrace the journey, moment by moment, whatever comes. 

"O'Christmas Tree, O'Christmas Tree - a strange and beautiful reminder art Thee!"



A Reminder of Christmas in DC last year    
 with my 6'3' "baby boy"

I cry easily – as I told a friend last week, “it’s a curse.”  Full of grace, she insisted that I’ve been blessed with “rich emotions.”  Unpacking Christmas decorations last week brought on             waterworks aka “rich emotions” in a tremendous way.  On more than one occasion, it was audible, ugly sobbing.  Memories of Christmases past (good and bad) flooded my mind.  Recollections of family members long gone, and the knowledge that this Christmas is going to be very different than any other, sunk in deeply. Furthermore, with my baby girl getting married next fall, there is yet another layer of sentimentality surrounding this Christmas.

I decorate multiple trees  – a different theme on each.  The tree in the sunroom is the least appealing aesthetically, with its eclectic array of mismatched ornaments.  However, in ways that truly matter, its beauty far exceeds the others and reaches down into my “rich emotions” in ways that surprise even me. 

Following are a few observations about this particular Christmas tree (and correlating reminders to this crazy thing called “life.”)

San Fran - 2009 -
Thanksgiving with the Zs!

I’m sitting in the sunroom, feet propped on a wicker table, laptop and iced tea in reach.  As I study the subject of this post – I notice several “souvenirs.”  From here I can easily see a Hawaiian Santa from Maui, a Golden Gate Bridge medallion from Thanksgiving in San Fran a few years ago, a lobster ornament from Boston, a handmade bauble from Germany, a number of White House ornaments from Christmas in DC,  one from Israel and I know there’s an Eiffel Tower from Paris barely out of view, maybe next to the “Blue Suede Shoes” from Nashville. These and others are sweet reminders of moments and places I’ve enjoyed – blessings in the midst of the greater drama-filled adventure.  For too long, I used to feel strangely guilty if I enjoyed something.  That’s clearly distorted thinking and thankfully, I’m over it.  Life is fleeting – so no matter what troubles abound, I try to maintain an attitude of contentment, gratitude and enjoyment.  Visible reminders help. 




Handmade  with a special message
 from a longtime cherished friend, Kathryn.

A gift from Rach's small group leader -
 a sweetheart & servant spirit!

There are items from 
friends who accompanied me along the journey for a season – some longer than others.  What a gift it is to think back to people I’ve known over the years.  So many of them invested in me – and in my family.  Some made the journey more enjoyable, more colorful, more interesting and rich. 

 The ornaments  coming to mind now, are reminders of treasured friends.  I’ve such an appreciation for “real people” (not the pretentious ones who appear perfect on Facebook; nor those who adopt a victim mentality laced with an attitude of entitlement; and especially not those given to lofty, self-righteousness, acting as judge and jury.)  We are all messed-up … I have a special fondness for the ones who aren't compelled to pretend otherwise.

a gift from Karen L.

LOVE THIS: Britt's popsicle cross with
"JESOS" loves me... so precious a reality,
and so precious a misspelled word.

 Speaking of imperfections:  Upon close examination of a few trinkets hanging on the tree, fractures and flaws would be visible.  Over the years, several have fallen, or dropped.  In some cases, they were pieced back together with glue.  Others are carefully propped between neighboring branches or ornaments.  They are flawed, but as much a part of the tree as the ornaments without defects. Like the imperfect people we all are, they’re still of value – in fact, they have an interesting history and even add a bit of character and interest to the outcome.  I love that as flawed people, God still adores us…He uses us, and He accomplishes great things in and through our lives – in spite of “us.”   

 

another sweet reminder of
Rachael's youth...

A handful of ornaments adorn the boughs of this 12’ tree – that I wouldn’t necessarily “choose”, but they are mine to keep.  Some were given to me, though for various reasons, I’d never select them.  There are also ornaments tucked inconspicuously throughout – that are “mine” but wouldn’t be had I exercised better discernment.  They are a consequence to a momentary lapse of judgment.  (An ebay purchase of “vintage ornaments” gone wrong.)  Similarly, in life, we are dealt challenges we’d never choose to navigate.  Often, unexpected beauty results from those.  Also, as with a foolish ebay purchase, when we act without discernment – the consequences are ours to bear… but they are with us. Sometimes, in retrospect, you realize the consequences were a gift – not an easy gift to unwrap, but valuable in the long run.

 

Love this Hallmark ornament
from the year Britt was born.
(the chain is broken - so it's
propped and not discarded!).

Amid the hodgepodge, are several of my favorite, very cherished ornaments, “First Christmas Together”, “Baby’s First Christmas”,  “First Year in our New Home”, etc.  These ornaments celebrated and marked new beginnings over the last two decades.   New beginnings, in most cases, are exciting and full of hope and promise – even if the “unknown” appears overwhelming.  Sometimes, a necessary course correction takes you on a completely different and unexpected route where the questions and uncertainties far surpass the numbing comfort of the mundane.   Historically, after traversing a new path, seldom would I have turned back if the option were even available.  Every new beginning is an end to something else.  Scary.  Exciting. Unknown. Life is truly an adventure of epic proportion.



 A cornucopia of sports themed ornaments hangs from the branches.  Several baseball ornaments remind me of the years of sitting on bleachers, perpetual “team mom” duties, and the very best friends! (Friendships that would far outlast Tyler’s baseball career.)  We have soccer and tennis ornaments – bringing to mind lots of time in the car together as we’d drive from one part of metro Atlanta to the next, carefully navigating game and practice schedules much like an air traffic controller (me with absolutely no sense of direction, but always singing at the top of my lungs – with great little backup singers.)

Add caption

Without question, my very favorite ornaments are the ones made by the tiny hands of Rachael, Tyler and Britt. The assorted snowmen, angels, crosses, reindeer, etc. remind me of a season of life I enjoyed immensely.  It was several years of sweet innocence, slurred “Rs”, hugs and homework, one on one time with each, bedtime stories, words like “mazageen” and the phrase “I lushz you mommy.”   It was a season of first day of school cupcakes, baking cookies, trips to the park, to the pool, to the pediatrician’s office.  It was a season of chore lists, beanie babies, swimming lessons, tamagotchis, ballet, target classes, Anastasia, Gertrude, sports, coloring, nightmares, losing teeth, firsts of all kinds -  x3.   It was the only time of life I could get by with buying matching outfits for my babies at Easter and Christmas.  It was a time in which so many prayers were answered.  I loved being a mom to little ones. It was my favorite role – ever! I’m forever grateful for those memories… 

 
 
There are other ornaments not represented in this post, but the gist is this.  It takes many decorations to complete the sunroom tree.  In this case: broken, beautiful, ugly, fun, sentimental, undesirable, and some reminiscent of great blessings.  There are bittersweet reminders of friends and family no longer around.  Many are fragile; some are falling apart after many years of wear and tear (where DOES the gold macaroni go in the off season?)  Some ornaments are quirky, others are classic and will never go out of style.  Several are as unique and wonderfully rare as the many beautiful and broken friends that gave them to me over the years. 

Look closely, between Priscilla the Pig & Snoopy the
Red Baron, you'll see Bella the Calico  (always near.)

The sunroom ornaments individually wouldn’t be spectacular to most.  However, when they are all hanging on their respective branches from mid-November until December 26^th, together they make a beautiful visual.  Even more spectacular is at the end of the day, when night comes and darkness is all around, at the appointed time – the lights come on.  Fractured, propped, unattractive ornaments are still there, but they are eclipsed by the light that illuminates the tree from floor to ceiling.

Similarly, the light of Christ shines, washing out flaws and inadequacies.  The “mess” is still there, but the Light of Christ shines so much greater, diminishing our flaws and making us more beautiful to a watching world.  The Light of Christ brings  order to chaos, beauty from ashes, hope to the hopeless, and makes a mess into a masterpiece at the appointed time. 

 


I heard a line in sermon a few months ago that has stayed with me:  "our lives are a record of God’s repeated provision."  As I wrap this post up, I can tell you that as silly as it may seem, the tree 4 feet away is much the same to me right now.

 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that you should show forth the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light

(1 Peter 2:9)

"Blood"

Tragedy marked the beginning of the summer I turned 15.  I was walking along the road, following all Pedestrian laws.  Out of nowhere – a car struck me from behind and catapulted me 150 feet. My body landed against a tree, dangerously near death. Injuries occurred literally from head to toe.  The worst wounds involved my head, right arm and back.  Traumatic blood loss led to shock and the expectation that this would be my last day on earth.  At the hospital, my family said their goodbyes.  Obviously, that didn’t turn out to be my last day on Earth – but it came close and serves as an ever present reminder that we don’t know when our last day will come. 

After surviving those first critical hours, attention was directed to the mangled mess that was my body.  My head was sliced wide open necessitating a partial crew-cut.  My right eye was bloody and swollen.  Horrid lacerations and significant bruising existed all over. X-rays revealed a broken back, and my parents were told I’d never walk again.  My knees and ankles were injured – in fact there was no area of my body that completely escaped harm.  The most grotesque disfigurement of all was to my right arm. 

The collision between the car and my body commenced an airborne thrashing compounded by a street sign, a giant wooden cable spool and finally, a tree. My arm was twisted and crushed in unimaginable ways.  The bone between the shoulder and elbow was shattered.  Jagged pieces penetrated the skin in a zigzagged pattern, practically amputating just above the elbow. My arm was a bloody mess – and the initial plan was simply to complete the process of amputation.  Gratefully, another doctor was called in and he began a process that took years, multiple casts, hours of surgery and an incredible amount of physical therapy.  (Gratefully, I say – because I still have a right arm and 95% + range of motion.)

Surgery lasted over 5 hours.  Since damage was extensive and much of the original humerus remained at the accident scene, bone from my right hip was grafted into the arm and encased by 4” of titanium. The recovery was long – but the doctor assured me that it was IMPOSSIBLE for the right humerus to be broken again – IMPOSSIBLE. The ultimate and irreversible healing of my ugly, mangled arm amazingly parallels another irreversible healing in me. 

Like my arm, I was once a huge mess - mangled, and badly wounded through years of abuse and rejection.  That time in life was further complicated by consequences to my poor choices.   There was a hole in my heart that I tried to fill with the things of this world, but nothing ever satisfied – and those failed attempts left me increasingly despondent.  There were times that I simply wanted to die – to leave this world.  That embarrasses me now, because I am so grateful for each day….even the difficult ones.

Not growing up in the church, I was exposed to Jesus through various friends and extended family.  The summer I turned 12, I accepted Jesus as my Savior.  Like my right arm would later serve to illustrate – the promise of an eternity in Heaven could not be broken.  My salvation was sealed at the moment of that decision.   However, it wasn’t until years later that I was able to know the joy and peace that comes from fully surrendering one’s life to Jesus Christ.   While I knew beyond any doubt that I was a Christian, the concept of daily dying to self and living for Him remained foreign. Unfortunately too, the ways of the world still proved enticing. 

My walk with Jesus had been on my terms – when convenient.  In my early 20s and pregnant with a daughter – I came face to face with my need for His guidance and protection more than ever.  Being fearful of repeating destructive patterns, and having no idea what a Godly mother looked like – I pressed into Him like never before.  Jesus heard my heartfelt, though not eloquent prayers.  Those prayers were and continue to be answered in ways bigger and better than I could have imagined.  Finally, I “got it” – my relationship with Jesus Christ wasn’t ONLY about a future in Heaven.  My relationship with my Lord and Savior is a daily surrender.

Years after the accident, I discovered a medical arm band from the hospital – with my name, dates, etc. – and the words:  Blood Recipient.  Somehow, I’d missed the fact that a random person’s blood donation had spared my life. Because of that selfless gift, I was given additional time on Earth, more opportunity to “get things right” and further occasion to share the love of Jesus with others. This serves as another AMAZING illustration: As the life-giving liquid that courses through our veins, blood symbolizes life.  In the Bible, the blood of Jesus serves as a symbol not of His death, but of His life poured out for us. 

Consider this:  I’ll never know the identity of the person whose blood donation saved my life.  However, I know the name of the One whose blood has reconciled me to God and has sealed my future in Heaven forever.  His name is Jesus.  He walks with me.  He comforts and protects me.  He hears and answers my prayers.  He leads me and is the model for how I am to love others.  He knows me intimately and He wants me to know Him the same way.

It’s humbling that a total stranger gave me the gift of his/her blood.  However, it is AMAZING and awe-inspiring that Jesus, son of God shed His blood for me.  He knows EVERYTHING about me – and it’s not all pretty, yet He loves me.  There is power in His blood.  In His blood I found healing; eradication of my sin; forgiveness and hope for all eternity. The blood of Jesus has the power to change the inner man… I am living proof.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

 

~  ~  ~

It’s not by chance that you are learning my story.  There is no such thing as coincidence or luck. Have you received a divine blood transfusion?  Are YOU ready?

“Morality may keep you out of jail, but it takes the blood of Jesus Christ to keep you out of Hell.” (Charles Spurgeon)

 

Progressive Lenses

Five years ago, I had a routine vision screening.  My eyes were perfect – no problems at all.  The optometrist told me that I could fly a plane - if doing so was in my plans.  After that stellar report, I probably didn’t give my “eye health” a second thought, taking for granted my seemingly infallible optical ability.    It’s funny how things change right before us (literally)  – yet, almost undetectably. 

In Mid-2011, I noticed the need to hold Lean Cuisine packages further from my face in order to clearly read the microwave instructions.  A few months later, in fall of 2011, my eyes literally started “hurting” and most afternoons, after hours on my laptop – I would experience a ridiculous headache.  In late November, weird “halos” and dots began invading my view.  That’s when I became more than a bit frightened (brain tumors coming to mind) and called a local, well-respected Optometrist on our medical plan. He saw me that afternoon and I was SHOCKED to learn that in just five short years, my perfect vision had diminished remarkably.  Not only am “near sighted” – I am “far sighted” as well.  So, at the age of 43 and 3 months –  my very first pair of glasses were carefully selected.  They aren’t bifocals like my Dad or grandparents had, with the blatant, definitive line through the middle.  My lenses are “progressive” – like me.  (In the open- minded sense and/or the "hopefully" progressing in life sense.)  There are no distinct lines, but an increased ability to: see far away through the top third; work on a laptop for hours at a time through the mid-section; and view up close, the tiny cooking instructions on my frozen entrée – in the bottom third. 

My eyes didn’t “go bad” overnight.  There were increasingly significant warning signs along the way that I disregarded.  It wasn’t until I thought a large tumor could be growing in my head that I actually acknowledged and addressed the underlying cause. 

When the glasses were first put on, I thought they made my eyes worse.  For the first several days – I was literally nauseated and often dizzy.  It actually seemed the doctor had made a mistaken diagnosis, so I did what most of us do - Googled it.  Apparently, mine was a normal reaction. 

After a few weeks, there was no nausea or dizziness.  I adapted to walking up and down stairs and off curbs.  It wasn’t long before the realization set in that the HORRIBLE headaches were completely gone.  My eyes, with correction, were better than ever!

A few months later, I can easily see a correlation between declining optic health and my own, overall “human condition.”  There have long been “little signs” pointing to areas of concern in my life: challenging or unattended relationships; habits and tendencies that I ought to address:  i.e.,  my insane passion for sleep between the hours of 5 and 8am; the urge to pour a glass of wine after a stressful day or an encounter with someone who I swear has been put on this Earth to TEST me; the tendency to get sucked into meaningless tv – turning into two hours of couch potato-ism.  My faults are many -my attributes seem few.

Admittedly, the areas of weakness listed above have brought about conviction from time to time.  However, like the signs with my eyes that were long ignored – I can no longer allow these areas of my life to remain unchecked and unresolved.  (Nor will I wait until a “Cancerous tumor” is perceived – or diagnosed.)

I attended the Memorial Service of a longtime friend and classmate yesterday.  Milton’s class of 86 is still quite young, yet she was the third to die in roughly a year.  Her loss was completely without warning.  Sadly, she leaves behind a 5 year old daughter and a much-loved husband of 8 years.  As I think about Angela, I can’t help but wonder what she would’ve done differently the last days, weeks, and months of her life had she known her remaining days were so few?   

At my age, we tend to go about our routines with the assumption of time. The truth of the matter, a truth that I’ve long known cognitively, but find hard to accept deep down…. Is that there is no guarantee of tomorrow.  From this day forward, I plan to address those areas of life that give me pause for concern.  Maybe after proper diagnosis and “correction”, relief of longstanding headaches and perception issues will come.

A couple of you that I know and love well  are dealing with “areas” of short -sightedness.  Some share one or more of mine; others refuse to acknowledge truth about certain family members – thus enabling them to continue destructive patterns , hurting themselves and others in the process. Friends of mine are in relationships that shouldn’t exist -  they seem to “know” but ignore that fact. Some want to take the seemingly easy way out, while others find a way to displace blame for the problems they face.  Then again, I have friends who want to stay on the periphery of God’s radar.  When convenient, they see God as Santa Claus – giving Him their list of “wants” but ignoring Him altogether when the “wants” are few or temporarily satisfied.  No matter what, my friends in these scenarios, are dealing with unnecessary headaches AND heartaches. 

We should address our symptoms, especially the recurring ones – with the appropriate person or entity.  The applicable  "diagnosis" and the necessary prescription will surely bring relief.  Sure, as was the case for a few short weeks –  prescribed treatment made me a bit uncomfortable, and quite literally – nauseated.  However, I now know it’s because my vision was being corrected.  It was, in retrospect, a short adjustment period. The halos and spots invading my vision have disappeared and clarity since is restored.  How foolish of me to wait so long before facing the issues that were growing increasingly apparent.  It could’ve been me that closed my eyes for the last time  in recent days.  Sadly, it would've been with words unsaid, habits unbroken, and relationships left unattended. 

The areas that I need to address are crystal clear to me. What would you address if you knew this was the last week of your life? 

Newsflash:  it might be.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”  (James 4:14)

Pride could've prevented me from glasses,
as I didn't want to look "older".  It was a bit of a
struggle.  Now the question is:  What is pride
 getting in the way of in other areas of life?

Cross references:

1. James 4:14 : Ps. 102:3; [Job 7:7]
Are there phone calls to make?  Moments to be shared?

Forgiveness to extend?  Friendships to restore?

Habits to break? Complaining less and praising more?

Marinade

My husband is an absolute genius when it comes to grilling.  The “Green Egg” was perhaps the best gift my children and I have ever given him.  It’s great not only because he enjoys cooking on the Egg, but we all enjoy the fruits of his labor!  When he is marinating steaks for our weekly Sunday dinner, I love to open the refrigerator – the aroma of garlic, Worcestershire, soy sauce, red wine and lemon waft out of the marinade bowl and into the kitchen.  My mouth waters at the thought!  Through his years of mastering the art of grilling – I’ve learned a little about marinades.  First and foremost – the longer the meat is immersed in the marinade – the better the flavor is locked in, penetrating every savory bite.

It may seem like a stretch, but we humans can be compared to a thick, juicy ribeye.  Think about it, no matter where you are – or who you’re with, you’re being "seasoned" by external factors: people, media, literature, etc.  Yours may be an environment that yields a positive overall “flavor”,  then again the opposite may be true.   

At the age of 17, on the first day of Psych 101, I heard my professor, Dr. Noble share a seemingly meaningless platitude.  He said, “The two things that will influence you most in life are the books you read and the people you associate with.”  At the time – I just thought it was another of countless “cute phrases” often spouted by adults.  However – this particular gem has never left my thoughts. 

 I shared this insight with all three of my children as they entered the highly critical teen years – more than once.  From a mom’s perspective - it was glaringly obvious that hanging out with a group of “hellians” led to negative behaviors, attitudes and consequences.  Conversely, spending time with Godly friends – and studying God's word and other  “good” literature vs. garbage – most often led to exemplary behaviors, outlooks and reward. 

It’s much easier to see “cause and effect” in our children’s lives – but if we do a bit of self-examination as adults – I believe the same holds true.  We aren’t exempt from negative influences around us the minute we turn 18, 25 or even 40.  Saturating ourselves with persons who hold radically opposing beliefs, values and ideals – is a slippery slope (especially for “followers” and “pleasers”.)  It’s easy to begin rationalizing others’ behavior and often only a matter of time before the same negative behaviors and actions become our own.  Our pastor has quoted another individual as saying “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”  PURE GENIUS! (and with similar meaning to Dr. Noble’s quote.)

Bottom line, we are immersing ourselves in a “marinade” of sorts – daily.  The longer we are soaking in it – the more intensely it will season every aspect of our lives.  We ought to be as intentional as we’d desire our children to be when it comes to evaluating our friends, and other external influences – including the literature. 

Surroundings are influencing each of us - like it or not.  We just have to ask ourselves if we like the way our lives are being flavored...and then be intentional about necessary adjustments.  

If we look around at our friends - do we desire to have a future much like we see theirs?

 T

*Note:  This, in no way,  indicates we shouldn’t rub shoulders with persons who’ve gone astray.  We are called to be a light in a dark world…you can’t really be a light to others if you’re only spending time in a “well lit” area.  We should be the Hands and Feet of Jesus to ALL people….