Dear Jason...(JJ)

We never met face to face, yet your very life had tremendous impact on my family, me – and on countless others.  You see, the October morning I said a tearful goodbye to my baby boy – you were there in the crowd.  Like your sweet mom and hundreds more – I was hating those last few minutes before you boarded the bus.  Whether your mom was on base, or she was agonizing from home as many were - via cell phones, prayers, and maternal raw emotion, we who adore our sons weren’t oblivious to the fact that those final moments at LeJeune, may be your very last on US soil.   The moments before you, Tyler, and the young men of 2/2 boarded the buses are moments that will never leave memory.  Not just mine, not just your mom’s, but every mom and dad who cared deeply for their son, no matter where goodbyes were said, those moments will NEVER be forgotten.

In a few days, our country will “celebrate” Memorial Day.  For most, it means a day off of work.  The United States Post Office and many banks will be closed.  Most schools in the Southeast have already dismissed for the summer, but the ones around the country who’ve not concluded their academic year will enjoy a three-day weekend.  As I’m writing this, there are people in packed cars headed to see out of town relatives or in route to the beach.  People are planning menus for Monday afternoon cookouts.  Still others will just be grateful to sleep in on Monday morning, avoiding the typical commute and marking off a few task items. 

You see, Jason – too often the meaning of Memorial Day has been lost.   They don’t know that it’s about you and thousands of other young men and women who have lost their lives while fighting for, defending or upholding the values of this incredible nation.  They don’t get it.  They take freedoms for granted.  “They” have never had a beloved son (or daughter) deploy to a hostile environment, placing their physical lives on the line, so that the rights and privileges of others can be preserved. 

Enough of that; If you could hear my words today – Jason, I’d want you to know that your parents and brother love you still and the memory of you is ever present.  They honor your courageous life with theirs.  You’d be so proud of your family.  You’d be blown away by the strength of your mom.  Never, never, never - would I want to walk the path that she is on.  Surely, my feet would falter – yet she does it with humility, grace and with great dignity.   She looks beyond herself and the physical void that is left in your absence.  Pressing forward, she honors and remembers her sweet son through the way she loves and encourages your friends – and their families. 

One of the most unexplainably humbling moments of the past few years, was sitting with your mom at the Memorial Service of another fallen young man – Blake.  (...tell him he has great reason to be proud as well.  His parents are phenomenal people, pressing forward in faith and still an active part of the Marine family community.)  We sat on a row which would make it convenient for your mom to exit the sanctuary if the “still too fresh” reminders were too painful.  I told her I’d walk out with her. Rest assured, she would have not been left alone in her grief that day.  She hung in there – with love for you, her precious son.  In some ways, the words of encouragement that day – the talk of Heaven, the absence of strife – were a delayed comfort.  In her raw grief, at your own service – there were many similar words shared – but I can only imagine, those words were hard to penetrate the heart of a woman who had just lost her beloved oldest child.  I can’t say for certain how she felt – and I hope that’s a certainty that will elude me for a lifetime.

Your parents were there when the 2/2 returned from their last deployment in February.  It was a pleasant surprise to see them there – again, you’d be so proud of how they honor you by serving others.  Your mom mentioned that she felt “close to you” at the recent homecoming.  Words still fail me – but your mom and your dad, show stellar resilience.  Their memories of you, your love and honor for them and for your country, your antics and all that you stood for, remain here today. 

Many have lost sight of what “Memorial Day” is declared to be.  I wish it fell routinely on the last Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday of May.  It’s not meant to be a convenience to civilians, but that’s what Monday has become for a great deal of Americans.  Please know that in my heart and in the hearts of those you have personally touched – your memory and your life, will be forever honored. 

No, you’re not physically here.  Rest assured, no terrorist organization can erase your legacy.  You will live on in the hearts of those you loved.  Your memory will stay with those of us who have watched in awe, the strength and increasing faith in God that resulted from your passing.  Your memory will not dissipate from the friends you made at LeJeune and especially not from those who were serving alongside of you on that fateful February day. 

Interestingly, I remember vividly the day that you died – I wish I didn’t.  I hate the words “River City” and will always recall the happenings of that day.  The sound of my son’s voice when he called is permanently etched in my mind.  I’m grateful for the sound of his voice, and so wish your parents had the same experience that day.  I don’t know how you felt about tattoos while you were here, but I suspect you’d be humbled by the number of young men who have a memorial tattoo on their bodies that reminds them of you every time they see themselves in a mirror.  Some people have issues with “ink” but how could any parent object to a permanent reminder of a friend whose life on Earth was cut short in an act of valor?  Tyler has accumulated an impressive collection since turning 18.  Most though, have been since his return from Afghanistan.  His most recent tattoo – has your silhouette….and your name.  As a mom, I’m proud of him for NOT wanting to forget you and others.  Having your name displayed on his bicep also provides ample opportunities for strangers to hear of your brave devotion.  See, people are going to be talking about you long, long, long after you were here.  Interestingly, several celebrities have died since you – interestingly too, they get a lot of coverage the week or two following their passing, but I haven’t seen a single celebrity tattoo.    

No, Jason, you may not have had as many years on Earth as most, but there is no doubt – the imprint and the legacy you left behind will outshine many lives with decades more of opportunity.  You made a difference.  Mine is just one life you touched. Believe me, the hearts you impacted span across this great nation and into other countries.  Although you’re gone, others will continue to learn of your bravery, sacrifice, devotion to family, and your love of God. You’re not forgotten.  You never will be. 

Sure, there will be cookouts on Monday, people will sleep in, the lakes and beaches will be full - but no matter what we’re doing, or where we are – there will be plenty of people remembering you and your fallen comrades from years gone by.  Know there will be many prayers offered for the darling family you (and others) have left behind. 

Scripture tells us that you’re happy to be in Heaven – you know no pain, you’re in the most glorious of all places.  Your tears have been wiped away; there is nothing you long for.  You wouldn’t want to be back on Earth because you’ve seen what awaits those of us who have come into a saving knowledge of Jesus.  While the ones you’ve left behind still feel the pain of your loss- I pray they find comfort in knowing you are with the Lord…and that one day you’ll all be reunited for eternity.