In the years, preceding FaceBook, did you ever heard anyone blame Alexander Graham Bell for the downfall of a marriage? Surely, there were phone calls made between consenting adults. What about people who've driven to hotels or flown across the country to meet a forbidden lover? Are we to blame the Wright Brothers for inventing the plane? Henry Ford for inventing the early Model-T? Personally, I don't see a difference. Sure - modern advancements, make communication between people and groups much more accessible. The information, tone and communicated intentions fall solely on the ones tapping out their words on a keyboard.
On the contrary, I have found social media - and specifically, Facebook to be a tremendous benefit and vehicle to build and maintain healthy relationships. I's a modern convenience and method of communicating for which I'm very grateful. In just a few keystrokes, and at a convenient time of my choosing - I can catch up on a few friends; check out my kids' pages; send a quick note to my aunt; and see updates on situations for which counsel and prayer have been requested. One friend keeps me entertained with her cat pictures and apprised of my "other daughter's" school progress. Another friend keeps me laughing with the silly cartoons. Some online friends simply inspire me.
FB is an easy way to quickly let someone know they're thought of. As with our tongue, we can "speak life" or we can "tear down". The words we "speak", whether verbally, sign language, email, blogpost, tweet or FB status - are extensions of our "tongue" and therefore the same biblical wisdom should apply. (Our tongue, tweets, and posts are no different than the pen in the hand of a ready writer....and therefore exist as expressions of our beliefs, priorities and level or lack of character.)
On a very personal level, Facebook has been for me:
- A way to stay more closely connected with out of town family and friends - especially, seeing pictures of events and celebrations that may have only been described in words before. It's extremely cool to see my cousins and their children online regularly, when we may only see each other once or twice per year otherwise.
- A manner to support and be supported in the role of "marine mom" and "military mom"in general.... I've engaged with many parents who have heard the words, "Mom, I'm joining the Marines" or "Mom, I leave for Afghanistan in three months". These are life experiences that weigh heavily on the hearts and minds of those of us who have raised sons and daughters who choose to serve our country as adults. I wouldn't trade my son's decision - in fact, I admire him for his commitment. However, it's been such an encouragement and a gift to connect virtually with others who feel the same pride in tandem with unmistakable concern. To build friendships online and subsequently meet your friends in person is incredible! While I've been able to meet several online friends while on vacations or as they passed through Atlanta - there are many that I've not encountered face-to-face, YET.
- An easy, non-threatening and convenient avenue to reconnect with classmates from K-12 and college. Several of us have gotten together for lunch or dinner on numerous occasions and a few of my former childhood friends have been over to my house and met my family. It's great fun to see how people you knew as children and teens turned out in their 30s and 40s.
- Sadly, but gratefully still - FB has enabled me to learn when old and new friends were dealing with terminal illness; and when others' families have been hit with their own shocking loss. Because of our online connections, many have met or reunited at the funerals of old friends. We were able to honor and celebrate the memory of one life lost - along with supporting and consoling the family they left grieving.
- Most recently, I've realized that FB is an easy way to stay connected to many new friends made in Trinidad. Intentions are to return to that special place where God intersected a special chapter in my life's story with the lives of so many amazing women and teens. In the meantime, it's great to pull out my ipad and see a note or post from a new friend...over two-thousand miles away!
Speaking of social media and amazing encounters in Trinidad: while sitting on the top bunk far from home, hungry and tired after a long day of ministry in energy-zapping heat and humidity, I logged on to FB. There, in response to an "update" I posted earlier were the words:
"Amazing! We are coming to Trinidad on the 13th and am so blessed by your posts!"
These words would have been an encouragement from anyone, but I was pleasantly surprised since they were the words of a girl I went to Elementary and High School with. (Unbeknownst to me, we were also at the same college for a short time.) Anyway, I hadn't thought of or seen her since our highschool graduation, more than twenty years ago. Also, "funny" we didn't really hang out in school. We knew each other, but weren't in the same social circles. Funnier still, neither she nor I even realized we were "FB Friends" until she noticed Trinidad updates on her newsfeed and I saw her comments in response. After an initial exchange, we shared a few notes. I felt prompted to offer a meeting so we could further discuss what she could expect in Trinidad, based on my experiences there just days before hers would commence.
Imagine my surprise, when at Starbucks, we realized that on an island with almost 1900 square miles she was heading to the exact same city in Trinidad. Imagine the mutual shock when we discovered her group would be partnering with the same little church I had just left a few days earlier? We were completely dumbfounded by the realization she would be staying in the EXACT home that my team stayed in. (With the same couple out of a population of over 1,200,000 people?) The amazement continued as we learned that she and her family would be traveling with a team from my church and with someone I consider a great friend? Wow - what are the odds? The "odds" can only be described as God-sized.
While Angela and her team were ministering to the children of Trinidad, I was thrilled to see her words and pictures online. Her posts, along with team updates from our mutual friend served as encouragements and reminders of a place and people forever to be remembered. What a blessing to see some of the same smiling faces with my long ago classmate, a week after I was there in their midst, crying and laughing and doing life with them.
Yesterday, we had lunch again. This is becoming a delightful habit! Our conversation over chicken salad drifted toward childhood recollections, mutual friends and similarities we never knew existed. The perfect timing and the meaningful nature of this new friendship has been an amazing gift in a short time.
When I think back to schooldays, I remember thinking Angela was one of the "lucky ones" - with external beauty, a desirable neighborhood, widespread acceptance and popularity...you know, the things that "matter most" in adolescence. During those years, I struggled greatly with my awkward appearance, and the looming cloud of anonymity -marked with bouts of geekdom. Talking yesterday, I realize those years perceived as wildly different presented similar challenges for us both. Neither of us - nor most girls we knew then, escaped seasons of agonizing over many common hangups, challenges, temptations and self ascribed inadequacies. How sadly conventional it was and is for young girls to feel like fish out of water....when the common goal is to blend in. How refreshing it is now, to have authentic, transparent dialogue and a few laughs, with no adolescent pressure to appear as perfect. How wonderful to have shared beliefs, passions and meaningful experience as adults. As a grown woman, I can honestly say - I'm happier than ever, being the "Me" that I am now - flawed, conflicted and admittedly, still a work in progress.
Today, Angela is still a gorgeous redhead...in fact, she has grown more lovely with time. She has a tender heart and an obvious love and devotion for her husband and daughters. Because her love of Christ is core to her being - she radiates compassion, humility and kindess. This new friendship, originated online and ignited by shared experience, is another of the many ways in which God has blessed me lately. The perfect timing and the meaningful nature of our discussions has been an amazing gift.
In this monthlong endeavor of journaling daily causes for gratitude - I would be remiss to not mention my long ago classmate, and brand new friend. As the newfound friendships established two thousand miles away so quickly became dear, so has she.
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