"O'Christmas Tree, O'Christmas Tree - a strange and beautiful reminder art Thee!"



A Reminder of Christmas in DC last year    
 with my 6'3' "baby boy"

I cry easily – as I told a friend last week, “it’s a curse.”  Full of grace, she insisted that I’ve been blessed with “rich emotions.”  Unpacking Christmas decorations last week brought on             waterworks aka “rich emotions” in a tremendous way.  On more than one occasion, it was audible, ugly sobbing.  Memories of Christmases past (good and bad) flooded my mind.  Recollections of family members long gone, and the knowledge that this Christmas is going to be very different than any other, sunk in deeply. Furthermore, with my baby girl getting married next fall, there is yet another layer of sentimentality surrounding this Christmas.

I decorate multiple trees  – a different theme on each.  The tree in the sunroom is the least appealing aesthetically, with its eclectic array of mismatched ornaments.  However, in ways that truly matter, its beauty far exceeds the others and reaches down into my “rich emotions” in ways that surprise even me. 

Following are a few observations about this particular Christmas tree (and correlating reminders to this crazy thing called “life.”)

San Fran - 2009 -
Thanksgiving with the Zs!

I’m sitting in the sunroom, feet propped on a wicker table, laptop and iced tea in reach.  As I study the subject of this post – I notice several “souvenirs.”  From here I can easily see a Hawaiian Santa from Maui, a Golden Gate Bridge medallion from Thanksgiving in San Fran a few years ago, a lobster ornament from Boston, a handmade bauble from Germany, a number of White House ornaments from Christmas in DC,  one from Israel and I know there’s an Eiffel Tower from Paris barely out of view, maybe next to the “Blue Suede Shoes” from Nashville. These and others are sweet reminders of moments and places I’ve enjoyed – blessings in the midst of the greater drama-filled adventure.  For too long, I used to feel strangely guilty if I enjoyed something.  That’s clearly distorted thinking and thankfully, I’m over it.  Life is fleeting – so no matter what troubles abound, I try to maintain an attitude of contentment, gratitude and enjoyment.  Visible reminders help. 




Handmade  with a special message
 from a longtime cherished friend, Kathryn.

A gift from Rach's small group leader -
 a sweetheart & servant spirit!

There are items from 
friends who accompanied me along the journey for a season – some longer than others.  What a gift it is to think back to people I’ve known over the years.  So many of them invested in me – and in my family.  Some made the journey more enjoyable, more colorful, more interesting and rich. 

 The ornaments  coming to mind now, are reminders of treasured friends.  I’ve such an appreciation for “real people” (not the pretentious ones who appear perfect on Facebook; nor those who adopt a victim mentality laced with an attitude of entitlement; and especially not those given to lofty, self-righteousness, acting as judge and jury.)  We are all messed-up … I have a special fondness for the ones who aren't compelled to pretend otherwise.

a gift from Karen L.

LOVE THIS: Britt's popsicle cross with
"JESOS" loves me... so precious a reality,
and so precious a misspelled word.

 Speaking of imperfections:  Upon close examination of a few trinkets hanging on the tree, fractures and flaws would be visible.  Over the years, several have fallen, or dropped.  In some cases, they were pieced back together with glue.  Others are carefully propped between neighboring branches or ornaments.  They are flawed, but as much a part of the tree as the ornaments without defects. Like the imperfect people we all are, they’re still of value – in fact, they have an interesting history and even add a bit of character and interest to the outcome.  I love that as flawed people, God still adores us…He uses us, and He accomplishes great things in and through our lives – in spite of “us.”   

 

another sweet reminder of
Rachael's youth...

A handful of ornaments adorn the boughs of this 12’ tree – that I wouldn’t necessarily “choose”, but they are mine to keep.  Some were given to me, though for various reasons, I’d never select them.  There are also ornaments tucked inconspicuously throughout – that are “mine” but wouldn’t be had I exercised better discernment.  They are a consequence to a momentary lapse of judgment.  (An ebay purchase of “vintage ornaments” gone wrong.)  Similarly, in life, we are dealt challenges we’d never choose to navigate.  Often, unexpected beauty results from those.  Also, as with a foolish ebay purchase, when we act without discernment – the consequences are ours to bear… but they are with us. Sometimes, in retrospect, you realize the consequences were a gift – not an easy gift to unwrap, but valuable in the long run.

 

Love this Hallmark ornament
from the year Britt was born.
(the chain is broken - so it's
propped and not discarded!).

Amid the hodgepodge, are several of my favorite, very cherished ornaments, “First Christmas Together”, “Baby’s First Christmas”,  “First Year in our New Home”, etc.  These ornaments celebrated and marked new beginnings over the last two decades.   New beginnings, in most cases, are exciting and full of hope and promise – even if the “unknown” appears overwhelming.  Sometimes, a necessary course correction takes you on a completely different and unexpected route where the questions and uncertainties far surpass the numbing comfort of the mundane.   Historically, after traversing a new path, seldom would I have turned back if the option were even available.  Every new beginning is an end to something else.  Scary.  Exciting. Unknown. Life is truly an adventure of epic proportion.



 A cornucopia of sports themed ornaments hangs from the branches.  Several baseball ornaments remind me of the years of sitting on bleachers, perpetual “team mom” duties, and the very best friends! (Friendships that would far outlast Tyler’s baseball career.)  We have soccer and tennis ornaments – bringing to mind lots of time in the car together as we’d drive from one part of metro Atlanta to the next, carefully navigating game and practice schedules much like an air traffic controller (me with absolutely no sense of direction, but always singing at the top of my lungs – with great little backup singers.)

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Without question, my very favorite ornaments are the ones made by the tiny hands of Rachael, Tyler and Britt. The assorted snowmen, angels, crosses, reindeer, etc. remind me of a season of life I enjoyed immensely.  It was several years of sweet innocence, slurred “Rs”, hugs and homework, one on one time with each, bedtime stories, words like “mazageen” and the phrase “I lushz you mommy.”   It was a season of first day of school cupcakes, baking cookies, trips to the park, to the pool, to the pediatrician’s office.  It was a season of chore lists, beanie babies, swimming lessons, tamagotchis, ballet, target classes, Anastasia, Gertrude, sports, coloring, nightmares, losing teeth, firsts of all kinds -  x3.   It was the only time of life I could get by with buying matching outfits for my babies at Easter and Christmas.  It was a time in which so many prayers were answered.  I loved being a mom to little ones. It was my favorite role – ever! I’m forever grateful for those memories… 

 
 
There are other ornaments not represented in this post, but the gist is this.  It takes many decorations to complete the sunroom tree.  In this case: broken, beautiful, ugly, fun, sentimental, undesirable, and some reminiscent of great blessings.  There are bittersweet reminders of friends and family no longer around.  Many are fragile; some are falling apart after many years of wear and tear (where DOES the gold macaroni go in the off season?)  Some ornaments are quirky, others are classic and will never go out of style.  Several are as unique and wonderfully rare as the many beautiful and broken friends that gave them to me over the years. 

Look closely, between Priscilla the Pig & Snoopy the
Red Baron, you'll see Bella the Calico  (always near.)

The sunroom ornaments individually wouldn’t be spectacular to most.  However, when they are all hanging on their respective branches from mid-November until December 26^th, together they make a beautiful visual.  Even more spectacular is at the end of the day, when night comes and darkness is all around, at the appointed time – the lights come on.  Fractured, propped, unattractive ornaments are still there, but they are eclipsed by the light that illuminates the tree from floor to ceiling.

Similarly, the light of Christ shines, washing out flaws and inadequacies.  The “mess” is still there, but the Light of Christ shines so much greater, diminishing our flaws and making us more beautiful to a watching world.  The Light of Christ brings  order to chaos, beauty from ashes, hope to the hopeless, and makes a mess into a masterpiece at the appointed time. 

 


I heard a line in sermon a few months ago that has stayed with me:  "our lives are a record of God’s repeated provision."  As I wrap this post up, I can tell you that as silly as it may seem, the tree 4 feet away is much the same to me right now.

 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that you should show forth the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light

(1 Peter 2:9)