Life U - 2011

I love learning - anything!  Every day provides opportunity to grow in knowledge.  2011 provided 365 days of "Life University".  At 42, some things "clicked" for the first time, and a few earlier lessons are now understood with greater clarity than before.  The goal now is application of the most important takeaways...while avoiding the less signficant "pitfalls" as well.

What did 2011 teach me about...

Adult Children?  I was incredibly naive in my 20s and 30s.  At
the time, it seemed that my remaining years on Earth would forever be spent tutoring, redirecting, cleaning, cooking, mediating, shuttling (In a mini van!), planning sleepovers, birthday extravaganzas and end of season parties for three very active children.  Those times were often physically and emotionally draining. God, please forgive me for thinking it was going to be a cakewalk when they all reached adulthood!  The daily demands are less on me, but the emotional demands are more taxing than ever.  You watch as your "children" make major life altering decisions regarding: Marriage/dating, children, education, career choices, lifestyles and so forth.  Their grown up decisions are clearly going to have a more significant impact on them than some of the silly, short-sighted choices of youth. It's been hard to let my babies go, harder than I ever imagined.  It's especially hard when you suspect a decision will lead to difficulty or pain.  When they were all little ones, my heart would break when their hearts were broken.  That hasn't changed. I may not get to speak into their lives as much now, but love them just the same.  It's hurtful when you see that lessons you taught them as little ones have been disregarded and you fear what it will take to get them back on track at times. The best (and sometimes only) way to support them now is through prayer. Of course, you love them no matter what.  In 2012, and beyond, my precious, grown up children will be prayed for - and as they add spouses, babies, etc. - they too will be in prayer.

I recommend "The Power of Praying for your Adult Children" by Stormie O'Martian.  It is a powerful little book. I was fortunate to go through this with a group of "Marine Moms".  We all had children in the USMC, either deployed or preparing for deployment.  Most of us had other children as well, some doing incredibly well (they still need prayer!) and others really struggling with addictions and other destructive habits and relationships. This book was a Godsend.

Balance: My firstborn and/or functioning "only" personality make excellence a priority.  On the other hand, balance is a descriptor I'd like to apply to my life. The two can and should go hand in hand. It's impossible to do EVERYTHING with excellence, if doing too much... so 2012 is the year I will limit the task list and expand time spent enjoying the things of life for which I have passion. For both my physical and emotional health - the word "NO" will be more frequently spoken in response to requests and invitations. My calendar will not become overbooked with activity. There will be more margin than ever before. There will be increased opportunity for de-stressing and enjoying the hobbies I've put on the back burner.  Most of all, there will be increased time engaging with friends and family. My overall health will benefit.  Speaking of health...

My Health?  Too often, I've taken it for granted.  I started out 2011 with a serious case of pneumonia, in bed and miserable for weeks.  It took months to get "back to normal".  Laying around and doing nothing may sometimes sound appealing - but it was depressing.  2011 was the "sickest" year of my adult life and I care not to repeat it!  First off, ample sleep, exercise and a healthier diet will be routine.  (Not over the top though, I will still enjoy my favorite unhealthy foods, including chocolates in my desk drawer - just not as often!)  The aforementioned "balance" will also have a positive impact.

Forgiveness?  Forgiveness has taken center stage this year. In years past, I thought I really had mastered this. (Will I ever really master anything though?)   The freedom experienced by the forgiveness of others' transgressions is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves.  It's a gift we can obviously give others - and they don't even have to ask for it.   There have been too many faces  on my "radar" of people who harbor resentment.  Their bitterness shows in their countenance and in their physical aging.  There is no point in holding on to the details of every infraction ever committed against us.  I'm definitely not insinuating that we should "forgive, forget and reengage".  It's irresponsible to put ourselves or our children/family in a spot vulnerable to the same mistreatment by the same people - especially those with long-established patterns of hurtful behavior.  (I'm not talking about any one person here - but a handful - from various facets of life.) 

Gems from an expert author on forgivess at the bottom of this page: http://tawnda.blogspot.com/2011/04/spring-cleaning.html


Hurt Feelings?  When I was a child, my sense was that as we grew to adults, we'd have our feelings hurt less.  That was clearly blinded thinking. Girls were the worst, they could make a comment about my "unpopular long hair" or my clothes, my soft voice, my name, etc.  I was so different from many of them, but the thing my little heart desired was to be just like them. (My crazy pre-pubescent thinking!)   With hurt feelings - I would simply want to disappear, or sneak away and cry.  Fast forward to 2011, my feelings were still sometimes hurt, but probably most often by the actions of people I care about.  Sometimes, they may not have realized how their shortsightedness affected me.  Other times, it was obvious.  In 2012, perhaps I'll find a way to creatively address those situations as they arise. One of my much-loved children profoundly hurt my heart this past year - we never discussed it.  Perhaps that was as much a disservice on my part.  It was an opportunity missed.  No matter who it is that causes hurt - forgiveness is key. 

Friendships?  2011 made me fully aware of the blessing of friends.  I'm not talking about "surface friends" but the ones who stand by you, sacrifice for you and care for you in the times of need.  (i.e., medical - post op, etc.)  God has blessed me with tons of friends.  Like everyone, among those "friends" are the ones who come around when: they'll benefit; they need something; they have a free Friday night and no better offers.  Then again, I've got amazing true friends who, with nothing to gain -  cared for me while I was sick; fed my family during recovery; ran errands on my behalf; called; wrote; visited; prayed - and I wasn't exactly fun to be around.  They didn't benefit - they just showed up.  Admittedly, there was a handful of friends that really loved on and supported me in a way that surprised me.  I was humbled. Aside from "post-op" care, I've been loved, admonished, counseled, encouraged, challenged and greatly entertained by some of the most amazing people on Earth!  In 2012, I will grow and foster these significant relationships while hopefully, becoming a better friend myself.  (God, help my eyes and ears to be open to the needs of others so that opportunities to be the Hands and Feet of Jesus, are not missed!  Help me to better value all the friends you've so graciously given me!)


Life at home?  (still so much to learn!)

• 2 kittens are a great way to fill an "almost empty" nest!
• One should never paint the interior of one's house between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  (Never again!)
• Game nights with the children are even better now than in the days of "Hi Ho Cherry O", "Pretty Pretty Princess", "Chutes and Ladders", etc. It's a great way to start dialogue - admittedly, better for building relationships than watching movies together (just explain the rules of "catch phrase" so you will avoid physical injury!)  
• Social Media can actually lead to meaningful relationships - I used to discount this, wondering how so many online affairs could arise.  However, 2011 has given me rich, meaningful, online friendships with Marine Moms across the country.  We have shared with each other, gone through Bible Studies together, prayed for and loved each other.  Additionally, in 2010 - FB afforded the opportunity to meaningfully reconnect with old friends from school. 
• Some people are just grumpy.  I continue to find ways to deal with them - but have determined they're not usually open to change.  
• People Magazine: one of my guilty pleasures, is an incredible prayer tool.  (For some reason, I never considered praying for celebrities until Dr. Bill Brown from Cedarville University shared his message on The Christian Worldview and mentioned his celebrity prayer list.  Inspiring!)
• With regard to a clean house:  no one can ever clean it to my high standards - but I'll never turn down help!   
• Also with regard to a Clean house: It has been confirmed that on the absolute messiest day of the year (post Christmas chaos with construction project underway) you will likely look up to see 12-15 people congregating in your kitchen.  It's okay.

How has The Word of God Changed? It hasn't! God's Word is infallible.  It is the inspired Word of our Creator and Perfector of our faith.   It was the same yesterday as it is today.  In some ways, with continued study - the words become more alive, more meaningful and understandable. When you know and understand the power of the Word, you want everyone you know to be an ardent student.  You strongly desire that scripture be planted on the hearts of family and friends so they may apply Biblical principles to their own lives - enjoying fuller, more meaningful years. My 2011 "list" pales greatly aside the Words of the Utmost Authority.  

Life is short - I want to make it count. When I'm gone, my family and friends will know my beliefs, my thoughts, and even my abundant shortcomings. My hope is that something in my crazy mixed-up life story will aid them in theirs.

When they question the Word of God - when they hear the gospel and shrug their shoulders in disbelief - I hope they will sense me whispering, "are you sure? What if I'm right? What if you are wrong?"

As I type this last sentence, it's increasingly evident that the most important objective for me in 2012 is this: to make the work of His Hands in my life, obvious to all I encounter.

Happy New Year - may you be blessed with love, joy, and a peace that surpasses ALL understanding in the next 12 months!