Simple Pleasures… Plain & Simple, in Black & White (16 of 29)

Tuesday night = “Bowling Night” in my current stage of life.  We’re about halfway through the season, and it's an absolute blast.  One of the perks of bowling in this particular league is the social interaction.  Thankfully, not only are my team members extremely engaging, but everyone in this league, has a great time and they’re all enjoyable to be around (win or lose.)

Interesting thought tonight though … I’m the lowest scoring “scratch” bowler on the team.  The averages of my teammates are significantly higher.   We're outranking semi-pro bowlers…  you know, those people who actually bowl perfect 300 games.  Midway through the season, we are in first place, how ironic with "low-scoring Tawnda" on the team! 

The reality that hit me tonight, is that this pin shortfall is my greatest contribution to the team’s performance. (Once those handicaps kick in at the end of each game, boom… it almost looks like I know what I’m doing!)  

As is typical of me, I gave this ironic spin a considerable amount of thought tonight.  Much like the shortfall that benefits the team… in life I believe our individual shortfalls may be assets.  Failed relationships, finances gone awry, sickness, poor choices, legal problems, prodigal children, etc. are hard.  At the same time, these challenging life experiences are also phenomenal teachers. 

The drawbacks in life, once navigated – give us wisdom to make more informed decisions in and for the future.  The painful stuff of life also causes us to be more sensitive to the plight of others.  Pain can build character, and no question –  pain endured and overcome makes us far more interesting humans.  Setbacks also make us grateful.  

To close the loop here - Don't waste the lessons learned and the inspiration received in the midst of  “handicaps, shortcomings and gutter balls."  Enrich the life of those around you with non-judgmental humility, and encouragement. If not a relationship you have the freedom to “speak in to” then by all means,  still be empathetic. 

  

For me personally, the people in my life that have gone through the hard stuff …garner more respect.  Their opinions matter more to me - because they've been tested and shaped by the storms of life.   

Most definitely, I’m all about doing my best – and on Tuesday nights… my best falls short when it comes to raw bowling scores.  However, in bowling and in life - I’ll just keep aiming for the middle while continuing to find joy in the game.  

Slipped off my Sperry's & put on my very cool, germ-free
bowling shoes... (in a lovely shade of teal... trust me.)

Tonight’s bowling related “simple joys”

·       * My very own shoes (not a fan of rentals!)

·        *A great group of people each week!

       *Lots of laughs/Discounted beer (bonus) 

·        * Handicaps -  with them, we can still         “win” (bowling & in life!)

Simple Pleasures: Plain & Simple (in black & white, & imperfect flesh tones) 11 of 29

John Mayer sings “Your body is a Wonderland.”  It’s a great song…but if I knew nothing more than the title and catchy chorus…I could say it applies to my body.”  (Bummer, clearly not the case!)

Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland

The reality is, my body could cause an onlooker to “wonder.”  I’m a 5’9, 140 lb living, and breathing bulletin board covered in “mementos" from the journey I've been traveling since birth..”

From the very top of my head, to the very tip of my right toe, assorted scars illustrate various chapters of my ongoing biography.  A near fatal accident, 4 early stage cancers, blatant stupidity, and other life experiences have resulted in quite a collection of imperfections on an already imperfect body.  Yep, it's a wonder... 

There was a time when I did everything possible to cover visible scars… especially, the more pronounced ones.  There were summers that sleeveless tops were not an option because I didn’t want anyone to see the horrific scarring on my upper right arm.  When I had thyroid surgery a few years ago, I bought several scarves and turtlenecks in anticipation of the “mutilation” I’d have to conceal.  Perhaps that was a season of vanity…. (Just think, TP… you didn’t even know me then!)  Now I proudly wear sleeveless tops and love that I have a dear friend with an identical scar in the precise same location.  (We're titanium friends... literally!)

(note the corresponding description/link to each # below)

Probably more significant than some of my physical scars are the ones that no one sees.  There are a multitude of emotional scars below the surface.  In earlier adult years I saw myself as strong, independent and yes – as a survivor.  Somewhere later though, “I” got lost and those positive self-assessments were replaced with self-deprecating thoughts and doubts.  Thankfully, with time and proper guidance – we grow into a better version of our younger selves. (I think I’m grasping the familiar quote “youth is wasted on the young.”)  Priorities change, perspectives mature and we become more comfortable in our own flawed skin and aging bodies.  This is not a stretch at all – the scars on my body and below my skin,  are souvenirs from challenges and injuries overcome… and I’m profoundly grateful for what each represents. 

3 years ago, in tears…I said to my therapist, “I’m an enabler… I’ve enabled too many people in my life...and they’ve all hurt me in some way.”   His attitude changed, and his voice got more stern than “comforting.” Looking directly at me, he said… “STOP!  YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!  I know what you’ve been through.  You’ve always done what was necessary for survival.  You’re still here….yes, you need to recover, yes - you need time to heal, but YOU ARE STILL HERE.”

Those words were not a healing salve; they were electrifying shocks from an AED that revived a dying heart and crushed spirit. Dr. P’s words, and many sessions of working through a bunch of CRAP were all crucial to moving forward, and healing. 

I’ve survived a lot.  (Seriously, my life has a strange “Lifetime Movie” vibe.) Scars are another example of redemption. Nothing that we journey through – regardless of how, or why… is wasted, unless we waste it. I’m thankful for every blemish.  Each prompts recollection of an unrequested, painful, yet ultimately, cherished experience.  Each tells a bit of the story of how “I” became the “Me” that exists today.  

Lastly, each imperfection serves as a reminder of a responsibility to others - drawn from the well of experience that has been only mine to partake.  Lessons learned - must be shared.  Encouragement received – must be passed on to others.  (Encouragement coming from someone who has navigated similar trials is a great comfort to a suffering friend…I’ve been on both ends of the equation.)

Don’t waste scars...redeem them.

Here's an overview of my "Wonderland Memo Board."  

Physical Souvenir	Origin	Read more of the story here:
1.    Boomerang shaped Scar on top of      head. Barely visible nowadays.	Hit by a car at the age of 15 – the giant gash on my head was from a road sign that my head clipped as I was catapulted through the air…	http://tawnda.blogspot.com/2010/06/broken-bones-scars-and-ugly-blue-pintos.html more on the accident that almost ended my life…but ultimately brought many physical changes
2.    On my neck – barely visible	Total Thyroidectomy (pre-cancerous tumor)	http://tawnda.blogspot.com/search?q=ode+to+thyroidina (wow – I forgot how corny that was… must’ve been the Percocet.)
3.    Right Humerus – Metal Plate	Same pedestrian accident as #1	http://tawnda.blogspot.com/search?q=blood Another perspective on the same accident…years later
4.     Early detected breast cancer	3 different occurrences over 5 years	------------
5.     Early detected breast cancer	No chemo/radiation necessary	------------
6.     Early detected breast cancer	3 lumpectomies w/extensive margins removed due to atypical hyperplasia	------------
7.     Emergency C-Section	My favorite scar of all…  -> ->  ->  ->  ->	http://tawnda.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-difference-nineteen-years-make.html
8.     Left Wrist – Quarter size/shaped	Also from the pedestrian accident	This scar used to be far more evident and I literally wore a watch for the sole purpose of covering it… now it only shows up vividly if I’m in the sun…
9.     Right pelvic bone///bone graft	Same pedestrian accident as #1	------------
10.     Right Big Toe/Pins (bunion!)	Delayed injury from years of ballet	Metal parts in right arm & right foot/Bionic Woman!
11.     Left arch – (this is the souvenir of youth & stupidity)	Stepped on broken glass on dance floor	Too much liquid courage as a barely 18  year old college student at O’Malley’s in Athens with friends… (It was bleeding so much I thought someone spilled a red slushy on my sandals… not fun.)