The First House on the Left

Our neighborhood is a comprised of approximately 96 homes in a desirable suburb of North Atlanta.  We have decades old, well established yards, with gorgeous trees and  even a lake.  We have swim and tennis and an active Homeowner’s Association.   A cornucopia of shopping, gourmet restaurants, parks and leisure  is literally minutes away.  The majority of homes are larger than average.  Most are “traditional” by design – often with full finished basements.  It’s a quiet community with fabulous neighbors.  Crime has not been an issue in the nine years we've lived here.  Our community is nestled in a top ranked school system with convenient access to everything.  When we peer out kitchen windows, we see trees, flowers, and beautifully choreographed birds, butterflies, squirrels and more. 

This is on one of the "better days" - yet, weeds galore

Residents seem quite content here – with one caveat.  There is a house on our street that is an absolute eye sore.  It has long been vacant.  The “phantom owner” fails to maintain the property to the point of neglect.  It’s my understanding that the issue has been addressed with proper authorities and appropriate “processes” are in place.  While encouraging news, “processes” take time and fail to lessen the eye strain every time anyone enters our neighborhood. While this one horrendous yard exists there are many lawns that look as though they were carefully and precisely extracted from Pebble Beach or Pinehurst and plopped in our midst. 

There is a lovely home for sale a few doors down.  I’m sure that prospective buyers may be inclined to turn around when their sight lands upon the yellow stucco that could quite possibly house Gomez and Morticia.  This one horribly unkempt lot would be unfortunate on any street in our neighborhood, but it is presently the “first impression.”  The first house on the left has given me quite a bit of pause lately.

We learn about first impressions at an early age.  We grow up hearing the colloquialism, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression”.  From youth, we are conditioned to put "our best foot forward" -  perhaps appealing to the masses, yet  often far removed from authenticity.  How absurd.  Yet, at my present age (43) – it’s still easy to succumb to absurd, cultural conditioning.   Just yesterday, I found myself explaining to someone why a 5’9” girl (me) would consider wearing 4” heels.  Why?  Because, generally speaking – people take you more seriously with every inch of height.  It’s silly and superficial!  (Although, I have a bias toward fabulous shoes - ascribing to the "keep your heels, head and standards high" philosophy!)

  At some point along the way, my wardrobe became  somewhat contingent on what persons in “authority positions” would be encountered on a given day.  Conversely, in recent months – I’ve learned to appreciate (and encourage among friends) “cosmetic free days”.  Those are coming about more and more!  (It's great for the skin!)  There is obviously an inner battle brewing within - one between preconceived notions and time-proven reality. 

On the flipside, my own first proclivities of others have been “generally accurate.”  Most often, intuition kicks in and a façade is easily penetrated.  Although, history is not 100% accurate.  There have been individuals encountered that seemed “harsh and abrasive”.  Through further interaction, initial assessment has been replaced by one that is “quiet and yet, incredibly nurturing and gentle.”   Most significantly, if my husband remained defined by the first impression – he’d not be my husband now.  It’s funny how life works. …and also quite humbling. People perceived as friends may not be – people perceived as adversaries, may turn out to be loyal and true companions. 

A very dear, longtime friend once told me that throughout early high school, she thought I was conceited and very snobby.   It took a little time for her to figure out that I was only extremely shy and painfully insecure.  How profoundly opposite of her “first impression”! Then again, six years ago – I ascertained a very positive initial assessment of someone who I now know only “made a great first impression.”  Through conversations, actions and handwritten letters – it’s clear that this individual was also too familiar with the phrase, “You only get one time to make a first impression.”  Time revealed greater, darker truths – that are far from the persona presented to immediate family, friends, and prospects.  My desire to love this person made the positive first impression almost impossible to forget.  Wanting to believe the best - the best was a remarkable front, and I was one of the last to see the reality.  Some people are simply brilliant actors/actresses.  (Keep both eyes wide open!  First impressions can be hard to shake – in either direction.)

First impressions are a reality.  We simply must not assume first impressions are correct.  Just as potential buyers should drive past the first house on the left to see what sits beyond the “entrance” – so should we pursue further information as we first become acquainted with others.   Don’t be too quick to write someone off.  Don’t be too quick to give someone your heart.  Be prayerful.  Be wise.

This is not an admonition - but a charge  and a challenge to self. 

 It doesn’t hurt to make a great first impression...it really doesn't hurt to make a great first impression this is truly representative of the person you are.  I've no doubt that I've left poor first imprints  for others. Hopefully, they've extended a bit of grace in those situations as was the case with my childhood friend!

First impressions aren't necessarily a "Hole in One."    Lesson learned - again.

IMHO
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