So, the month of August was a month focused on Gratitude. Every day, I made it a point to dwell on the many gifts, big and small - rather than to allow my mind and my heart to focus on the difficulties. It's by no accident that this was the month God laid it upon my heart to do this. As August began, I had no inkling that surgery was in my immediate future.
For some, surgery is "no big deal" - for me, an IV or a simple blood draw is traumatic. (Due largely in part, to: http://tawnda.blogspot.com/2010/06/broken-bones-scars-and-ugly-blue-pintos.html ) August proved to be a worthwhile experiment in contentment for this "Needle-phobe"! There was a supernatural peace that accompanied me throughout the entire process. My gratitude was electronically documented through August 20th. Then came my "birthday weekend" with celebratory lunches and dinners and a surprise "family karaoke" extravaganza. Following the weekend of great fun, came a few days of preoperative testing, nesting and preparing for "downtime" - both at home, and in the office.
Many non-blogged blessings came to mind during the week of surgery. Some while still lucid - but most while in a drug-induced fog,. Random thoughts are scribbled on assorted notepads, journals and post-it notes. It's funny though, even though I could not (should not) have been posting anything online during those days on painkillers, something in me remembered to jot down the "positives". There were a couple of conversations with friends/family - in person, on the phone, and online that I have ZERO recollection of. Apparently, the "liquid percocet" impacted me more greatly than one would anticpate.
Before surgery, I have vague recollections of very meaningful people coming into the pre-op area: CWL, Sally, Sue, and Bob - and through it all, WGH. I can't begin to tell you what was discussed in the hours preceeding surgery, other than one brief conversation about a very specific scripture. Honestly, I've no clue now which passage it was, but at the time - it was of great comfort.
In spite of the "pre-op fog" - I do recall looking up every time someone came near, thinking it would be one of two very different family members that my heart desperately hoped to see. Both knew of the procedure and potential outcomes - and neither came. The "little girl" inside of me felt momentarily abandoned, but I didn't let those momentary feelings overtake my grateful position. Still, my post-its from the hospital listed so many significant "gifts", i.e., a husband and daughter who kept me company around the clock; many interested callers, and an abundance of prayers offered for every aspect of the thyroid surgery. Of course, I jotted down a thankfulness for drugs, jello, tea, broth and rubber soled slippers (drug induced gratitude, for sure.)
After getting home on the day following surgery, a humbling showering of love from so many "authentic friends" and a few family members - started. That outpouring continued for more than a solid month - longer than my actual medical leave. More than 40 visitors came with food, flowers, DVDs, magazines, and coloring books (I still love to color), and rides to medical appointments. We were well-fed and so well loved! This "season" was another incredible illustration of God's magnificent provision.
In spite of those initial, pre-operative "disappointed little girl" moments, He has blessed me beyond imagination with a circle of people who love me. Sometimes, in my opinion - we have to experience a bit of a deficit, in order to best appreciate the "bounty". This circle of people literally became the "Hands and Feet" and lavished us with care and concern. How could I be anything less than grateful? When an emotional wound momentarily tempted to bring me down - all I had to do was look at my overstocked refrigerator, or my fireplace mantle - COVERED with cards and flowers. I am so undeservedly BLESSED.
Last week, on the final surgical follow-up, my doctor said, "You couldn't ASK for your incision to heal any better than it is." He was quite pleased and indicated that he simply couldn't take credit for the remarkable progress. He suggested that it must be "good genes." (I can assure you, that is not the case.) I know otherwise - and believe fully in the power of prayer.
So, to all of you who brought food, movies, magazines, coloring books, smoothies and flowers; to you who visited, called, texted, or kept me company; to those of you who sent cards from across the country - and most of all - to those of you who prayed - THANK YOU. God has used you in a mighty way!
With a humble and grateful heart (and now minus a problematic thyroid),
I thank you and love you for how you have loved me...
T
Romans 12:10, Philippians 4:8
Very touching, Tawnda....well done!
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