Best Known as Suzanne...but...

Today, Thursday August 2^nd was a demanding day of catch up, with a backlog still awaiting attention tomorrow.  In the midst of the “urgent”, I looked forward to dinner with my very sweet and uniquely special friend, Suzanne.   

Dinner was in honor of her 78^th birthday (due to her active social life, we are still celebrating a week later!)  Few people make me laugh as much.  Fewer still have prayed with and for me more than her.  Suzanne has been a consistent source of laughter, and mischief for about fifteen years.  Simultaneously, a wellspring of Godly wisdom, artfully designed -handwritten notes and scriptural encouragement appropriately timed for every imaginable situation.  She is also a walking billboard for the long sought after "fountain of youth".... because of her, I know that faith and laughter will keep you looking younger than any product you can purchase!

She has long referred to me as her “granddaughter” and I long ago adopted her as a third grandma.   She watched my children grow up and they and my husband all adore her!  We are blessed to include her in our family celebrations – with our favorite being Christmas morning.  (She often comes over in her PJs for brunch, family time and a marathon Monopoly session!)

She’s not just a “friend”…but an integral part of life and a blessing on each of us.  As we talked tonight, I was reminded of the providential hand of God.  In this season of life – I have limited contact with members of my original family.  When Suzanne and I met – she had just lost her much loved husband and her Mom, within a week’s time.  Both lived with her, so Suzanne’s home went from population 3 to 1 within just a few days.  Soon afterward, she settled in to a position at FBC.  A bit later, I joined the staff as a part timer.  From the first week there, she took me under her wing.  There’s no doubt, God knew we needed each other. 

No, I don’t bring the wisdom and vast life experience to the relationship that she does - but I can clean out her refrigerator and and spice cabinet in no time flat!  (No one should have expired mustard in their fridge – EVER.)  So, that’s a little gift to her… I help her out when she’s incapacitated which isn’t often.   I make her laugh sometimes – as often as I can.  But I hug her every time I see her and will always love her dearly....

How blessed I am to have this marvelous woman in my life!  Thank you God, for “Gram”.  She has brought much joy and wisdom and I’m forever grateful you caused our paths to intersect!  (Happy Birthday "G"!)

Gratitude in August

Last year, a book on contentment prompted me to focus each day of August on an “attitude of gratitude.”  In retrospect, that was divine inspiration. There was no hint as August began, that I’d hear “probable thyroid cancer”;  endure numerous biopsies,  or that I’d be facing major surgery the third week of the month.  Enduring testing, surgery  and recovery was much easier because through it all – I really looked for the positive in every situation, every circumstance.   God blessed that monthlong initiative with a level of peace and contentment that is radically different than my "default anxiety" mode. 

Since last year's month-long focus, I’ve encouraged friends of mine to do the same. Contradictory, it may seem -  the hardest days make finding the hidden gifts easiest.  I’m convinced that regardless of what one is going through – focusing on the blessings, great and small is a helpful way of maintaining a Godly perspective, in storms and in the peaceful times times too.

Today, August 1^st, 2012 - there is no suggestion of a medical upheaval.  There is no hint of impending relationship doom with anyone close to me.  In fact, right now all three children seem to be in a great place.  My husband continues to remain employed in spite of a dismal economy. Spiritually, I’m on a “high” from my recent mission trip to Trinidad.   God did many amazing things through that journey.  I cannot, nor do I desire, to forget, lose sight of, or grow numb to their significance.    

Right now, I’m on a “hilltop” – having just returned a few hours ago from one of the best family trips ever.  It was a time full of laughter, encouragement, happy tears, maternal pride, and finally, military and patriotic significance.  (Topped with copious amounts of scrumptious food and slumber – and still more laughter!)  The past several days were an extraordinarily meaningful time with my much loved son, one of my daughters – and my hubby.   

Today begins the second annual 31 day focus on gratitude.  The urge to review August 2011 journal entries and blog posts is being denied for now.  However, when September comes – I look forward to comparing my thoughts from this month, to August 2011.   It will be interesting to see those blessings great and small that occur on both “lists.” 

We’ve just come through a very challenging season of life. Only God knows what lies in our immediate future.  Whatever comes, I WILL give thanks.  Whatever happens – the potential reality is far direr.  God is Great all the time.  His Awesomeness is not contingent on phone calls from police, family drama, biopsies, a frightening diagnosis, prodigal children, pink slips, office drama, struggling marriages, struggling children, or friends or bodies who fail us. 

 So, Here we go:  (and feel free to join me!  Add at least one "gift"  great or small for each day -  no matter what kind of personal Hell you may be experiencing at present!) 

Day 1 – August 1, 2012:  I’m feeling extreme gratitude for the great quality time we just spent with Tyler.  Hours of touring DC area with my newly acclimated son (DC looks different to me now since he lives there!), the Barracks, we enjoyed great dialogue along the way.  My heart was encouraged to see him happier than he’s been in years and to see him succeeding at his current role in the USMC.  It was a joy to see how others in his relatively new environment have embraced him and respect him.  We heard numerous compliments of his great attitude, hard work, dedication and skill. 

He so needed this season of life – and as a Mom of a grown man who will always, in my heart - be “my baby boy” - I’m beyond grateful! 

That's my baby in the front....I could not be more proud of him!  (Not just
when he's in a Military Uniform either!) He's been a great source of joy for
as long as I've had the incredible blessing of being his mom. 

His character and his heart have always been golden.

Inez's Hands

Do you ever sense that sometimes God puts someone in your path, if even for a short time for the purpose of leaving a lasting mark?  While in Trinidad, He brought a few significant persons to my life – and made it clear that our life stories were to overlap, even if only for a few days. Here's a little bit about just one of those special ladies.


On Friday afternoon, our team arrived at Victory Heights
Bible Camp for the Ladies Conference. We quickly started assembling 175 gift bags for the women we would soon meet. While we were filling bags and finalizing the registration process, a few women from KCBC joined us. As I was hurriedly stuffing 5 bags at a time in order to meet the cutoff time, a woman dressed in periwinkle started serving “the Americans” by doing the same. She didn’t fill the bags as quickly. Her mind wasn’t fixed on a deadline. Instead, her attention and her servant’s heart were focused on those of us around her.  This picture to the right is a great reminder of priorities - Inez was calm, peaceful, willing and helpful - to a group of American ladies she'd never met til moments before.  Look at my face - I'm not proud of this picture.  It's a reminder though - I was stressed/hot/concerned about our luggage not having arrived in time for us to be "dressed" and presentable before the women arrived.  This was one of many times in the beginning of our Trinidad Adventure, that God convicted me of a need for "my plans, my comfort, my preferences, my order, systems - etc.  My, Mine, ME!   Our clothes arrrived well after registration began.  You know what else?  It was fine!  (The ladies who got there and saw us in our shorts and tee shirts may have thought we were just slack, or maybe just really, really laid back at first! Still - no biggie!)    

Later that evening, the 8 member American team sat down for dinner with the women God brought to the top of that mountain.  I sat at a table, comprised mainly of my teammates and maybe two Trinidadian ladies.  One of them was Inez.  At the time, it didn’t occur to me that she was the same woman standing shoulder to shoulder with me a few hours earlier.  Now, I alluded in a prior post to being a profoundly picky eater.  When I saw the food, I decided the peanut butter and honey crackers in my bag would better satisfy my hunger.  Anticipating those crackers allowed me to observe the local women. Everyone was talking away – no different than would be the case here at home.   I watched Inez enjoy her dinner – with the use of her hands. Around the room, laughter filled the air, hugs were eagerly shared with friends and the locals continued to eat the gooey and unidentifiable fare with their fingers.  It was at this moment I learned that it’s not customary for many to eat with utensils.  (Granted, our hostesses always graciously pulled out a tray of flatware for the ease and comfort of my Western sisters and me.)   Inez may have thought I was a bit freakish as I continued to observe her enjoying this peculiar looking meal.  What I didn’t expect is that God was surely placing her in my immediate surroundings time and time again – for reasons He saw fit.  (Are you at all like me?  Sometimes, I fail to pick up on those divine appointments and require a more obvious “hit over the head.” )

Saturday, a few hours of free time was built into our conference agenda.  Several fun opportunities were available for the ladies: making bracelets; creating greeting cards; Zumba; a manicure station and more.  Without hesitation, I knew my place was making greeting cards with the women and children.  I enjoy scrapbooking  -  so, fashioning cards from pretty paper, stickers and scrapbook adornments was right up my alley!  As free time commenced, I enjoyed chatting with numerous ladies (and sweet little girls) as we made cards.  Some of the younger visitors even had me help them write special messages to a friend or relative.  There I was – back in my comfort zone again.  Should I have been the least bit surprised when someone from our team called across the room and asked me to join the manicure table? 

So, I walked over to an empty chair at the end of the manicure table in preparation to do the nails of the person next in line.  This was another divine appointment.  Inez took her seat with a smile on her face.  She chose her color and I took her hands.  As I painted the pale pink polish on her nails, we talked.  “Ahh….this is why I’m here.”    (In fact, she was the only person who’s nails were painted by me.)

Inez shared her life story.  She shared of heartbreaks that had befallen her through a series of events in which most would feel crushed, depleted and alone.   She rested those same hands that enabled her to enjoy the local cuisine - in mine.  Inez, with her resilient, grateful servant’s heart and her willing servant hands shared an incredible testimony.  My greatest struggle was painting her nails through random tears, and not getting polish all over her pretty brown skin!  I have described this to friends as one of the most Holy experiences of my life.  It may sound corny to some, but it was truly a God moment. 

Saturday evening brought “formal night”, a message from the Word, a testimony and a talent show.   Sunday morning began with a devotional,  then another message, and a  team member’s testimony.  These sessions were followed by cardboard testimonies from many of our new friends, including Inez.  There my friend with cotton candy colored nails, held up her cardboard with the words “Accepted by Jesus and got the love of a Family that God Gave to me.  Never alone again.”   

Throughout those remaining sessions and events, whenever I saw Inez, I looked at her hands and asked how her polish was holding up.  She always held up her hands with a smile and would say something complimentary.  When I looked at her weathered hands and polished nails all I could do was smile – not because of a stellar manicure by any means, but because of what her hands would always signify in my heart and mind.   God used her in ways I cannot fully put to words.

On Monday night, the day after the conference concluded, our team was given the opportunity of sitting in at the Trinidad Bible Institute.  I opted to sit in a class led by Pastor Sam.  Of course, I had no clue that Inez would be sitting in that same classroom.  From across several rows of seats, with those hands of hers – she waved excitedly with a huge smile on her beautiful face.  If I didn’t stay any longer than that moment – the class would’ve been a blessing of God sized proportion.

In closing, before this experience, I wouldn’t have volunteered to paint another woman’s nails – EVER.  I now know that I’ll not pass up the opportunity.  Most of all, I hope that on a return visit to Caroni Village, my resilient, strong, and beautiful friend will let me hold her hands again, while I paint her nails and hear how God has continued to comfort, mold and use her. (Maybe I’ll even do her toes to allow for more of the story.) 

In closing, Inez gave me her mailing address since she’s not online.  In a few days, she’ll receive a printed copy of this post, along with several pictures.  I would be remiss not to tell her that she, along with her hands – were literal instruments in the Hands of God that weekend.  That failure to communicate and encourage my new friend -  along with forgetting the lessons learned and miracles witnessed would be the worst things this amateur manicurist could do.  It's amazing how  God can  quickly give you a love for another human being - but He does....and He did. 

"Sista T." 

Eat, Pray, Love

As I sit here reviewing brief, choppy videos and the hundreds of photos from Trinidad –I continue to process all that the Lord has done and all that He has shown me in recent weeks and months. My greatest fear at present is reverting back to the “me” who existed prior to this amazing God-Sized Adventure. Eight of us boarded a plane in Atlanta in the early hours of Thursday, June 28th. All but two of us, myself included – had been on prior overseas Mission trips. Two of the girls on our team had even been to Trinidad and knew the culture, and even several of the people we would soon intersect with.

I had often joked that my first mission trip experience would be to a spa in Maui – not to a third world country. However, God was leading me to “go” to Trinidad over a year ago. Rather than simply feeling “released” to an international mission field – there was a definitive "push" to that specific destination. This was indeed His plan.

As my close friends know – I admittedly have a few quirks.  Bugs; lizards; spiders;  ants and dead animals of any kind are not my thing.  Germs are also not my thing – one cannot have too much hand sanitizer!  I don’t eat meat with bones in it (no chicken wings – only boneless tenders, etc.) and fish is not part of my diet.  Lastly, I am a HOME BODY – the days that my car doesn’t leave the garage are some of my favorites! This experience has made me acutely aware of “MY’ self-oriented preferences, cravings for personal comfort and penchant for “safe routines”. (Shame on me.)    In no way am I professing a new diet of bone-in chicken and shark; unclean hands; and regular, wild, out-of-the box exploits. But, when God calls me again to something new and out of my comfort zone… I will say yes without trepidation! 

Trust me – there is so much to elaborate on. The lessons and the blessings were bountiful and great! In an attempt to hold on to the many ways my eyes have been opened, I jotted down more than fifty “little lessons/insights” ensuing from Trinidad. Some are monumental….some are humorous. Many are gentle reminders of truths known but imperceptibly forgotten. (And many overlap and will be combined!) As reflection progresses to words on a page - I’ll share the great things the Lord has done!

~ ~ ~

This initial retrospect of our time in Trinidad is titled, “Eat Pray Love” not because of the novel by the same name,  or the Julia Roberts movie, but for a few obvious reasons:

One: Eat

Food/eating was such a big deal to me before we even left home. I was overly concerned about going hungry! That was me again elevating “my” preferences and comfort above God’s ability to meet every need (need, not luxury.) As one who often tells others not to worry about provision because “His Eye is on the Sparrow”, I failed to heed my own encouragement. It’s a profound and simple truth. It’s literally tattooed on my shoulder – and I lost sight of this promise. How trite that such focus was wasted on what to put in my mouth, when focus should have been the heart. (Trust me – I never came close to going hungry, and any meals skipped on the island, have been well compensated for!)

Two: (Pray)

Prayer was such a huge part of this journey, individually and corporately; before and during our time with the fabulous folks of Caroni Village and from all over the island. We had our church staff, elders, friends and families from home praying while we were “on the ground”. We also were being covered in prayer by the women who were attending the event, and we didn’t know it until we met them. In fact, it’s only in the last few days that the young woman who was praying for me sent a note indicating she was my Trini Prayer Warrior. That note was another encouragement because not only was she praying, but when she was worshipping on Saturday night, I was blown away by her angelic voice and her obvious passion for the Lord. To think, all along – before we met face to face, she knew my name and had been praying for ME? 

Not surprisingly, with all the praying taking place, Jesus was with our team in such real and tangible ways – He was showing off! The heightened awareness of His provision, His protection, and His sovereignty has been keeping me awake the last few nights. Beginning with months of planning - to the return home, the entire experience and the many faces cycle through my mind like a broken but beautiful record. (It’s time to write it down!)

Three: (Love)

Easy – the theme of our conference was “A Heart Like His”, anchored in John 3:16. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” Beyond this profound life changing truth – love was experienced between the members of our team (more on that later), our gracious hosts (more on that later too) – and we were loved on by the women and children at the conference in ways none of us could have anticipated (much, much more on that later as well!)

Sunday evening at Kelly Bible Church, following the conclusion of the women’s conference – we were given the opportunity to share a “retreat testimony” from the pulpit. When it was my turn, started with something like, “We have been planning a ladies conference for the women of Trinidad. We were prepared to come here and minister to you – to share God’s word, worship together and offer you hope, healing and encouragement through Jesus. What we didn’t expect, is that we would be the ones ministered to. There is so much beauty in these women, so much wisdom and so much love – we were the ones most blessed.”  I don't remember what came next....

That’s it. I experienced the love of God in a new and richer way than ever before. I also experienced love in an unanticipated way – to and from people I never imagined connecting with, in a land far from the comfort of home. 


Love has filled my heart to overflowing. 

"Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death." (Philippians 1:20)

 

Glimpses of Trinidad

This digital slideshow created with Smilebox

Back at the Missionaries' Home

Just a brief update! We are all completely physically exhausted - yet filled to overflowing of the heart and spirit.

We, along with our retreat supplies & personal luggage have made it safely back to "Rev & Shanno's" house and this is home base for the remainder of our time here.

I will go into more detail later - but have witnessed the amazing hand of God in a new and powerful way! We serve and are CHERISHED by a mighty God! He has continued to show great favor and has used eight imperfect people to show His Love, Hope & Promises to women in need of spiritual refreshment and to some deeply entrenched in unthinkable heartache.

Many of us acknowledge we are far out of our comfort zone - I'm definitely one of them! He has blessed our obedience and "amended our plans" in the best way possible!

I am in love with the ladies here and know we will meet again!

As for our team /most are napping, one of us started laundry, one is watching tv & one is on the treadmill! (I'll let you guess who's who!)

We will attend Kelly Community Church tonight at which time we will share our hearts with the congregation.

We've literally been going non-stop since arriving. We are looking forward to a sabbath tomorrow. (Moraccas Beach for a few hours...not sure what else.)

Our hosts are picking up pizza tonight before church! (cannot wait!!!)

Pray for a good night of rest!

More later - blessings to all!



The truck with all supplies safely back before the storms hit!




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Location:Southern Main Rd,,Trinidad and Tobago

Trinidad: Open Handed

A quick update written Friday night from the 2nd top bunk in Trinidad - this one at Victory Heights Retreat Center, the venue for our ladies' conference:


You who know me well, have been chiding me through giggles concerning my "selective tendencies" when it comes to cuisine...and to germs in general. This trip is evidence of many things, not excluding God's sense of humor. I will post pics at a later time to substantiate said claims - just know HE's enjoying this! (And yes, I/we are all being stretched in the process!)

I will say that the four hour flight delay out of Miami yesterday was God showing extreme grace. Unbeknownst to us at the time, that delay got us out of plucking & preparing dead chickens!

While food has been an issue for some of us - it really is insignificant in the grand scheme of things! We have had several last minute changes to well-laid plans. We have had no choice but to flex - and yet, He has already shown up in a mighty way! Tonight was truly AWESOME - because HE was speaking to the hearts of women in ways that cannot be planned or orchestrated by us! Hilary's first message of the weekend was well received by the women here. She spoke on John 3:16 - one of the first passages we learn as baby Christians, and the one readily seen in sports arenas everywhere! yet, women in my breakout group admitted to hearing it in a different way than ever before. More than a few women have shared with us that they truly felt God has them here for specific reasons - many tied to tonight's message.

Others identified with one or more of us through the cardboard testimonies we all shared as Hilary closed. We all walked to the center of the stage with our cardboard. One side contained strongholds, patterns, wounds or struggles in our own penmanship. After several seconds passed we flipped our boards to reveal how Jesus has freed, healed and redeemed those challenges.

So, one phrase/philosophy we have claimed many times in preparation for and since arriving is "holding it all with an open hand." These are not empty words but a way of life too often hard to embrace in the comfort of "home." As someone with a penchant for order, punctuality, and well executed plans - I'm being reminded of the greater need for success of any kind and in any setting - giving it all to Him, hands laid open with the release, in position to receive greater blessing! It's an elementary principle - yet I so easily forget and then attempt to "manage" the situation in order to achieve MY desired outcome. (okay, God I get the message!)

Somehow, I don't think he minds that I sneaked a pack of crackers into the dining area! It's not really about the food for our tummies - its about the "Bread of Life".

Well, I'm the only one still awake...my biggest problem at the moment will probably be crawling down the ladder, waking up Kim and having her escort me down the breezeway to the restroom. (guaranteed to get a response!) I'm so glad she's my friend!

In closing, we have 3 main sessions, 1 devotional, 2 team member testimonies, and a myriad of breakout sessions with organized activity tomorrow. Please pray boldly that God will use each of us in amazing ways and that HE will be glorified through all that is said and done. Pray that we will not grow weary from the heat, bugs, and steady activity. Pray for Cathy and I as we share our testimonies tomorrow - hers after lunch, mine during the evening session. Pray for Hilary as she will speak multiple times tomorrow; pray for Kim as she leads us all to The Throne in worship. Pray for each beautiful woman ages 12-90 as they rest tonight in preparation for God's Word to penetrate their heart tomorrow.

(from my iPad - please forgive typos and whacky formatting)


Holding Everything with an open (and frequently sanitized) hand,
Tawnda

Ps - thanks for following this grand adventure! We love the comments and all the prayers!

(yes, Britt - that was a very fitting card - living adventurously, mom!)



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Rise and shine!

Good morning friends & family!

We are waking up (slowly)...I can smell breakfast - not sure what we are having as its local fare. (I have plenty of protein bars & trail mix "just in case".

Roosters are crowing outside (really does sound like Jefferson, Perry - trust me though, way way different!)

Okay, here we grow! (yes, grow!)

Blessings!
Time to climb off the top bunk!

T


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Location:Factory Rd,,Trinidad and Tobago

Trinidad: The Plot Thickens

No matter how many times I get on a plane, I still enjoy the window seat. We just completed takeoff from Miami and the views from my window were both spectacular and thought provoking. Spectacular was the clear, bright blue sky in contrast to the bright, cottony clouds. Thought provoking was the shrinking image of busy city streets and neighborhoods for as far as visibility allowed.

Fortunately, I was able to capture a few photos of the neighborhoods before we were over the Atlantic. Looking at streets lined with homes reminded me of something dear hubby and I often say when in "people watching" mode: "everybody has a story". As silly as it seems, we've sometimes speculated as to the plots of certain passers-by.

In all probability, a square mile of suburbia is fraught with a million little stories, some intertwine with other "characters" in the community adding a level of joy in some cases, while relationship drama exists in the stories of others. The culdesacs we just passed over are likely full of children thrilled its summer - while on the inside of their homes, all kinds of "the real housewives of Miami-Dade" drama is unfolding. Not that those culdesacs are any different than the ones we all live on.

On any street visited, if exposed to the realities of its residents - we'd find heartache, frustration, and depression interspersed with pockets of joy and contentment. The interesting bit is the circumstances and challenges faced are often similar. So, how is it that marital struggles, financial upheaval, prodigal children, cancer, death, and disappointment can visit our households and yield radically different responses? Ah, of course its largely because of faith.

Christians aren't immune to the difficulties of this life - in fact, trials are guaranteed in the lives of Believers. This "guarantee" is not an implication that we all emerge from trials completely unscathed but we do tend to emerge with greater faith and compassion for others who will walk thru similar storms in life. For these reasons and more, we are on a flight bound for Port of Spain, Trinidad.

We will share our stories and the way Christ has carried us through rough times; we will share the hope and healing found only in Him- and we will surely hear of many Trini ladies' stories as well. Pray that we will be attentive, empathetic listeners as we intersect this next chapter of our lives with theirs. Pray that God will use us, giving us His Words as a healing balm to the afflicted. We have been told of typical mindsets in this primarily Hindu region. We have learned of culturally specific challenges facing women and their daughters - situations most of us could never fathom back home. They need hope. They need healing.

One of the encouraging cards hidden in my bookbag reads: "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil 1:6) On the inside, it reads "I'm believing great things for you!"

Everybody has a story...and for those of us with faith in Christ, we know that whatever "Real Housewives drama" comes our way - our stories will have a Heavenly conclusion! As long as breath remains in our bodies, anyone can change the ending of their own story while finding greater joy, comfort, purpose and peace in the meanwhile. Not a bed of roses by any means - but infinitely better than the alternative - literally!

Believe great things for us. Believe great things for the women of Trinidad! Our stories are all far from over (we assume). While this next chapter is unwritten, its pregnant with opportunity for blessings, adventure and life change. It's looking really exciting - turn the page!

T

PS - all teammates doing well so far - most are sleeping... I will probably regret not napping!

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Testing

Just added a blogging app on my phone - Hopefully, this will enable simple, short updated.

Taking off from Miami now (after a few minor glitches - its all good!)

T


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